How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Contraband Underwear

in Everyday on


I went shopping for a new dress today.
Why?
Big event coming up and it’s time for another new “little black dress”.

Didn’t take me long to find what I was looking for. Simple. Cute.
Zip Ding.
Ring it up.

As I was driving home I began to have this nagging uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach.
What the hell was that.
After a little soul searching I realized I was having a wee bit of buyers regret.
What do I need to spend $190.00 dollars on ANOTHER little black dress for?

When I got home I rummaged through my closet and checked out the dresses from the last 5 years. Surely something in here would work for this event next month.

Dress1…hmmm 1 little problem
Dress 2…hmmm 1 little problem
Dress 3 hmmm 1 little problem

The problem is. My belly. Ouch it was even hard to type the word! Pathetic.
This past couple of years I have been dealing with a back injury which has meant NO crunches for me. This means extra insulation for the tummy. So sexy!

Right then and there I made a decision. I took back that 190.00 dress. I am not walking into this charity event with a dress that makes me look 4 months pregnant, and went into the new store in the mall. Maybe you have heard of it? Spanx.

I felt like a 16 year old girl trying to buy booze!
I looked left and right to make sure no one I knew was around.
I surveyed the store from the outside.
Then…I rushed in.
My girlfriends have been raving about these Spanx for months so I knew what I wanted. Thank goodness they run in sizes like panty hose so I could just select my colour and size and get the hell out of there!
Whew!

Back home. Try on the contraband.

OH MY GOOOOD!!!
Dress 1….That looks better!
Dress 2…Holy Cow this dress looks too big now!
Dress 3…Eeek. I think I might be hot!

These Spanx don’t pinch or roll, nothing flubs over the top, they just kind of smooootthh. I think I am in love. Imagine how great my butt would look if I wore these under my Lulu Lemons!

Instead of spending $190.00 on a dress, I spent $59.00 on Spanx and actually feel good about myself.
Ahhh Spanx, from the top of my belly to the bottom of my heart I thank you.

    • Comments

    4. I’m relating to the back injury thing…feeling so deprived of not being able to indulge in what I’d normally indulge in to maintain my feeling of balance in my body.

      But Spanx? Ha! Not in West Bengal, honey…that thing would be dripping off me by 9am :))

    5. spanx are wonderful! the only problem is getting them off. lol. one finger underneath the waistband and mine just roll down on their own. haha!

    6. I have some Spanx too. I made the mistake of trying to go out to eat in them just a few months after giving birth. I thought I was going to pop out of the Spanx and split my dress. Eating a big meal…not a good idea in the Spanx for me.

    8. ok you might have just changed my life – my biggest issue is my jiggly belly, well it is the part the bothers me the most, prob b/c i am looking down at it constantly i am putting spanx on my xmas list fo sho

    14. I was all on the spanx bus until you said $59!!! $59.00?!?! Seriously?!?! Am I that cheap that a pair tight granny panties seem like too much money even if it is cheaper than a little black dress and will make my body look HOT?! Wow, I’m old!