How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Contraband Underwear

in Everyday on


I went shopping for a new dress today.
Why?
Big event coming up and it’s time for another new “little black dress”.

Didn’t take me long to find what I was looking for. Simple. Cute.
Zip Ding.
Ring it up.

As I was driving home I began to have this nagging uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach.
What the hell was that.
After a little soul searching I realized I was having a wee bit of buyers regret.
What do I need to spend $190.00 dollars on ANOTHER little black dress for?

When I got home I rummaged through my closet and checked out the dresses from the last 5 years. Surely something in here would work for this event next month.

Dress1…hmmm 1 little problem
Dress 2…hmmm 1 little problem
Dress 3 hmmm 1 little problem

The problem is. My belly. Ouch it was even hard to type the word! Pathetic.
This past couple of years I have been dealing with a back injury which has meant NO crunches for me. This means extra insulation for the tummy. So sexy!

Right then and there I made a decision. I took back that 190.00 dress. I am not walking into this charity event with a dress that makes me look 4 months pregnant, and went into the new store in the mall. Maybe you have heard of it? Spanx.

I felt like a 16 year old girl trying to buy booze!
I looked left and right to make sure no one I knew was around.
I surveyed the store from the outside.
Then…I rushed in.
My girlfriends have been raving about these Spanx for months so I knew what I wanted. Thank goodness they run in sizes like panty hose so I could just select my colour and size and get the hell out of there!
Whew!

Back home. Try on the contraband.

OH MY GOOOOD!!!
Dress 1….That looks better!
Dress 2…Holy Cow this dress looks too big now!
Dress 3…Eeek. I think I might be hot!

These Spanx don’t pinch or roll, nothing flubs over the top, they just kind of smooootthh. I think I am in love. Imagine how great my butt would look if I wore these under my Lulu Lemons!

Instead of spending $190.00 on a dress, I spent $59.00 on Spanx and actually feel good about myself.
Ahhh Spanx, from the top of my belly to the bottom of my heart I thank you.

    • Comments

    1. WOW! Good for you – nothing feels better then buying a new dress like FITTING INTO AN OLD DRESS!!! That’s the best ever! And thank GOD for Spanx!

    4. Cute post… We all relate to that story!!! I have clothes in all sizes –that I have worn through the years. When I lose weight –I swear I won’t gain it back. But–I manage to do just that!!!! GADS!!! Tis life.
      Hugs,
      Betsy

    5. Wow! Where have I been, this sounds miraculous and I’ve been totally missing out. Believe me, at 50 now things just aren’t in the same location they used to be. I’ll have to give it a try. Even at $59, it’s much cheaper than Lipo:) (which is my other miracle dream . . . )

      Kristin

    7. I just popped over from “if evolution really works”… and I am so glad I did.
      What a wonderful blog. I love your style and your posts.
      I will definately be following along…..
      I have sooo wanted to get a pair of spanx! Good for you!
      “nothing flubs over the top” ~ hysterical!!!!

      Michele

    8. You know, I keep hearing of these things. Maybe it is time to suck it up and go get some!
      and BTW, I left you another award. I know I know, I spoil you.

    9. I can’t stop laughing. If J-Lo and Beyonce can admit to loving them (and I’m sure they are both under a size 4) then we have nothing to feel ashamed of! Glad you joined the club!

    11. Just called over from SpeakingFrom the Crib, and spanx are brilliant! The ones that I have go right from the shoulder to the mid thigh, you wear your usual bra though, as there is a space, so it looks a bit like a back to front bathing suit! but they keep all the bits that you don’t want to be seen well covered up. You can even wear low cut dresses, and no one knows. They must have been invented by a woman…they are so brilliant!

    15. I desperately need Spanx for a dress I have to wear to a wedding next weekend!!!! I’m here getting caught up on a week’s worth of blog reading, now that I can actually sit up on the couch without my head exploding!!!! Happy Saturday!