How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Contraband Underwear

in Everyday on


I went shopping for a new dress today.
Why?
Big event coming up and it’s time for another new “little black dress”.

Didn’t take me long to find what I was looking for. Simple. Cute.
Zip Ding.
Ring it up.

As I was driving home I began to have this nagging uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach.
What the hell was that.
After a little soul searching I realized I was having a wee bit of buyers regret.
What do I need to spend $190.00 dollars on ANOTHER little black dress for?

When I got home I rummaged through my closet and checked out the dresses from the last 5 years. Surely something in here would work for this event next month.

Dress1…hmmm 1 little problem
Dress 2…hmmm 1 little problem
Dress 3 hmmm 1 little problem

The problem is. My belly. Ouch it was even hard to type the word! Pathetic.
This past couple of years I have been dealing with a back injury which has meant NO crunches for me. This means extra insulation for the tummy. So sexy!

Right then and there I made a decision. I took back that 190.00 dress. I am not walking into this charity event with a dress that makes me look 4 months pregnant, and went into the new store in the mall. Maybe you have heard of it? Spanx.

I felt like a 16 year old girl trying to buy booze!
I looked left and right to make sure no one I knew was around.
I surveyed the store from the outside.
Then…I rushed in.
My girlfriends have been raving about these Spanx for months so I knew what I wanted. Thank goodness they run in sizes like panty hose so I could just select my colour and size and get the hell out of there!
Whew!

Back home. Try on the contraband.

OH MY GOOOOD!!!
Dress 1….That looks better!
Dress 2…Holy Cow this dress looks too big now!
Dress 3…Eeek. I think I might be hot!

These Spanx don’t pinch or roll, nothing flubs over the top, they just kind of smooootthh. I think I am in love. Imagine how great my butt would look if I wore these under my Lulu Lemons!

Instead of spending $190.00 on a dress, I spent $59.00 on Spanx and actually feel good about myself.
Ahhh Spanx, from the top of my belly to the bottom of my heart I thank you.

    • Comments

    1. yup – I have a “thing” I squeeze into that just holds it all in the right place – it’s so comfortable and flat tummy to boot. It’s a Bridget Jones problem though – I need it to catch him but once he’s caught, it’s the last thing you should be wearing!

    2. Ok you have sold me on the Spanx, I might have to get me some too. I still have my “bulldog” as I so lovingly refer to my tummy that is SLOWLY diminishing from the twins. Have tons of fun at your charity event hot mama!

    3. ahhhh yes! them ole spanx… those are some special things… yes. they. are!!

      p.s. cannot not believe you thought that was me all tanned up in that pix… lol… i really feel bad for that women though!!

      have a great wkend!!

    4. I bought a pair of Spanx last year when I was in a wedding and realized the week of the event that the dress didn’t quite fit, ughhh!! Spanx was a life saver!!! I even wore them under jeans and pants and felt fantastic!!!

    5. I have Spanx but it doesn’t work too good when you have 50 extra pounds on you. I am so happy it worked for you. Great job on saving money and recycling a dress!

    6. awesomeness!!! I”ve got a belly that has made me look pregnant since I was 6yrsold. It’s not pretty so I’ve been sucking and tucking and squeezing into apparatuses for that long. When you go to your grade 9 prom in a girdle? Spanx would be easy!

    9. I’ve always wanted to try them – they sound fabulous. And what a great idea, to spend less $$ on Spanx and get into an old dress, then spending a whack on a new one. Good for you!

    11. Ahhh Lisa Anne…these little babys go all the way up to your bra line! I’m covered from bra line to mid thigh and they do not roll:)

    12. I’ve always wondered about those. I mean with my belly they have to roll. there’s no way they can just stay up. I’m too cheap to find out though!