How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Passive Aggressive Letters…With Love

in Everyday on

Oh dear friends, it’s that time again.  It’s actually way past time that I let off a little steam and vent a little in my own special way with some passive aggressive letters from the suburbs.  With love of course.

Dear Little People Who Live In My House,

Dishes go in the dishwasher.  You. Know. This.  Not on the counter, not on the coffee table and not in your bedroom.  In. The. Dishwasher.  Nuff Said.

Signed,

60 More Days of Summer?

 

Dear Delivery Man,

(I shall decline to out you by identifying if you are my UPS or the FedEx man, but you know who you are!)  I am less then pleased, that for the third time in as many weeks, I have walked outside to find a “Sorry We Missed You” note hanging on my door handle. Why does this upset me?  Notice that I found this little letter as I walked outside.  I was HOME when you came by with your delivery.  Did you just decide you had just enough energy to walk up to the door but not enough to RING THE BELL???  Seriously a ten on the frustrating scale.  This my friends is a Delivery Man fail.

Signed,

Not Getting My Packages in The Suburbs

 

Dear Me,

I know those chips are amazing, and agree that ice cream and chocolate tastes best when you don’t have to share, but please remember, nothing tastes better then thin feels.

Signed,

Jiggly Legs….(and watch out cause you know Old Lady Bat Wings are next.)  Shiver.

    • Comments

    1. I guess living in a small town i get the benefits of the FedX guy we know and who’s super friendly !

    2. Dear kids, when the garbage is overflowing, please do not keep piling stuff on top….empty it!!

    5. I agree with all of these! My delivery man at least rings the bell but then he leaves the package and runs back to his truck. I’ve never seen any part of him except for his back! At least I get the parcel.

    6. I feel your pain on both the dishes and UPS/Fed-Ex/Canada Post.

      I am convinced everyone but me has developed an allergy to putting dishes in the sink when dirty, or you know, once in a while washing them themselves. It drives me insane.

      As for deliveries… all of the ones I have mentioned do the same thing to me. I don’t understand it at all. Seriously, how hard is it to ring a bell or knock on a door. You have time to fill out your little slip… wouldn’t ringing the bell and waiting for a minute be quicker? Purolator is the only ones that will actually deliver my packages to me. Fed-ex I have to call EVERY single time and have them redeliver.