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How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Passive Aggressive Letters…With Love

in Everyday on 07/08/13

Oh dear friends, it’s that time again.  It’s actually way past time that I let off a little steam and vent a little in my own special way with some passive aggressive letters from the suburbs.  With love of course.

Dear Little People Who Live In My House,

Dishes go in the dishwasher.  You. Know. This.  Not on the counter, not on the coffee table and not in your bedroom.  In. The. Dishwasher.  Nuff Said.

Signed,

60 More Days of Summer?

 

Dear Delivery Man,

(I shall decline to out you by identifying if you are my UPS or the FedEx man, but you know who you are!)  I am less then pleased, that for the third time in as many weeks, I have walked outside to find a “Sorry We Missed You” note hanging on my door handle. Why does this upset me?  Notice that I found this little letter as I walked outside.  I was HOME when you came by with your delivery.  Did you just decide you had just enough energy to walk up to the door but not enough to RING THE BELL???  Seriously a ten on the frustrating scale.  This my friends is a Delivery Man fail.

Signed,

Not Getting My Packages in The Suburbs

 

Dear Me,

I know those chips are amazing, and agree that ice cream and chocolate tastes best when you don’t have to share, but please remember, nothing tastes better then thin feels.

Signed,

Jiggly Legs….(and watch out cause you know Old Lady Bat Wings are next.)  Shiver.

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    Comments

    1. Secret Agent Woman says

      July 12, 2013 at 1:13 am

      Good luck on the first one – the big people living in my home don’t seem to understand the concept yet.

    2. Busy Bee Suz says

      July 11, 2013 at 6:51 pm

      I know that delivery man; he’s been to my house too. Seriously, is the door bell that hard to reach?
      Bat wings. *sigh* I’m seeing signs of this and it has been my work out into high gear; aint pretty!

    3. Iva Tanurkova says

      July 10, 2013 at 8:38 pm

      So agree with you on all of the above.
      Most delivery guys (no exception of the company) are lazy. I work from home most of the time, my car is parked outside on the driveway and I still get the NOTE. I think that they actually have pre-made notes for all the deliveries done during business hours and they just stick it to your door. LAZY LAZY LAZY.

    4. kyooty says

      July 10, 2013 at 8:02 pm

      Hi! 🙂 I love these letters. Yep Delivery Guy from “another” choice of deliveries did the same thing here just yesterday. Everyone in my house is here, the garage door was open, and nope no packages left or signed for, had to go all the way back into town and walk through the allergy infested store to their pick up location.

      Thanks for stopping by my place this week.
      kyootycenter.blogspot.com and kyooty.blogspot.com

    5. Alexis AKA MOM says

      July 9, 2013 at 2:02 pm

      Oh man I would so be peeved at the delivery man!!!

      Oh yes thin how I want this to be 🙂

    6. Single Mom in the South says

      July 9, 2013 at 10:09 am

      Call the place he works for!

      I seem to have lost my “nothing tastes better than thin feels” button.

      • Stephanie says

        July 9, 2013 at 8:17 pm

        You know I thought about calling the delivery dude’s place of work. I just keep giving him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I was upstairs, maybe the doorbell was stuck? Maybe, maybe maybe…but then I realized. Nope. He’s just not knocking!

    7. joanna jenkins says

      July 9, 2013 at 3:56 am

      We must share the same delivery man! I just hate when that “missed you” note appears. And worse, we often get packages that have to be pick up at the main office by the person it’s addressed to only they don’t note who the person is– me or my husband. Drives me NUTS!

      Hope you finally got your package.

      • Stephanie says

        July 9, 2013 at 8:20 pm

        Oh no!!!
        Fortunately for my pick up location is not too far away so it’s not a terrible inconvenience. Sounds like it’s a real pain for you!! You know this also has me wondering. Companies or people pay to have their packages delivered. Shouldn’t they try more then once?

    8. Leah Davidson says

      July 8, 2013 at 11:56 pm

      Such a funny post! It is all SOOOOOOO true!! I’ve opened the door and CAUGHT the guy leaving the “Sorry we missed you” sign!! He kinda just ignored me anyways…

      • Stephanie says

        July 9, 2013 at 12:05 am

        LOL I wonder if they go back to their office at the end of the day and compare notes; kind of a “Ha I left four Sorry I missed you notes today!”

    9. Kyla@Mommy's Weird says

      July 8, 2013 at 11:53 pm

      Dear Me!!! LOL.

      • Stephanie says

        July 9, 2013 at 12:03 am

        I think I could write an entire series of “Dear Me’ posts!! (now if I could only get myself to listen!)

    10. Judy C says

      July 8, 2013 at 10:51 pm

      Love it! I seem to be having the same problem lately with the delivery man!

    11. Soozle says

      July 8, 2013 at 4:10 pm

      I hate to say it, I enjoy your passive-aggressive letters blog posts.. Not that I am taking enjoyment IN your misery, but I often say: “Hell yah!” after reading them…

      I am pretty sure it is a conspiracy amongst UPS/FEDEx to avoid ACTUALLY delivering packages… I, too, have gotten the “Sorry we missed you!” notes while home… and therefore had to drive half hour across town to pick up the package.

      • Stephanie says

        July 8, 2013 at 9:38 pm

        Soozle I am kind of thrilled that you enjoy my passive aggressive letters! Not just because I require validation, but because I find them to be so therapeutic. I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon 🙂

    12. Bridget says

      July 8, 2013 at 3:55 pm

      Ugh I know all about the delivery man. When we were waiting for special papers for my kids, hubby CAME HOME FROM WORK to be there for delivery, and they didn’t bother to ring the doorbell, just left the note. Then, we had to get said papers resent, for a $50 charge, of course!

    13. brian miller says

      July 8, 2013 at 3:12 pm

      nothing tastes better than thin feels…esp in bathing suit season right? smiles.
      ugh on the UPS guy…can you say lazy!

    14. Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell says

      July 8, 2013 at 1:56 pm

      I’m with you. That is so irritating when they don’t even bother to see if you’re home. Of course, there’s no helping it if they arrive during a vacuum session, etc.

    15. Jo says

      July 8, 2013 at 11:28 am

      Oh I need to remind myself that nothing tastes better then thin feels all the time .. funny I just don’t seem to be getting the message.

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    Travel addict, sun seeker, coffee drinker, fashion lover, picture taker. This is a peek behind the closed and competitive doors of the suburbs. A place to come to learn about the best places to travel with your kids in Canada, the United States, the Caribbean and beyond! stephanie@sassymodernmom.com
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