What I Know About Marriage

Sixteen years ago today, with the help of family and friends, I dodged the fat warm rain, laughing, excited and perhaps a bit anxious, wanting to make it into the church without ruining my perfect super poufy late nineties hair.

Sixteen years of marriage….I am truly happy, somewhat lucky and honestly exactly where I am supposed to be. 

We have a favourite song, a favourite restaurant, and favourite day of the week.  We have favourite places to run away to, and a growing list of places that we dream of going.  We laugh and tease far more then we disagree.  Fight? There is a pretty good foot stomper once a year.  It’s an annual event that almost always coincides with our yearly BBQ Fiesta!  Tradition!  We both love and treasure our girls above all else.  We are lucky and we know it….but here is what I have learned….

Marriage is compromise.  It is give, and it is take.  As long as you give as good as you get you have a chance of going to bed with a big old smile on your face every single night. 

It is work, work of the very best kind, but make no mistake, a “good” marriage doesn’t just happen.  You have to pay attention to that person you promised to spend the rest of your life with.  Check in on them, care for them and treasure the love and the life that you are building.  Make sure you keep dreaming together.  Try not to get lost in the many strains and stresses of the every day. 

If you are very lucky, marriage is building each other up, supporting and cheering each other in all things.  Realistically there is also some snapping, some whining and groaning.  A few bumps in the road.  Anyone who tells you they have perfection in their marriage is a big fat liar.  Life is messy, life is not perfect and neither is marriage, the trick….enjoy the mess. 

Marriage can be romance and flowers, but it is also taking the garbage out, changing diapers, paying the bills, doing the dishes and putting up with his snoring.  It helps if you can find a way to occasionally dance while you clean, tickle when you fight and for goodness sake, get a good pair of ear plugs! 

It may be hard, but you must find a way to forgive when you feel wronged, and to apologise when it’s called for.

Marriage is finding comfort in the knowledge that you are two against the world and giving thanks every day for finding a partner to tackle this crazy and sometimes scary place. 

Marriage is dreaming together, growing together, and always finding reasons to celebrate.  It’s not just remembering why it was you fell in love in the first place, but continuing to fall in love every single day.  

It’s knowing you are in the right place,

and relishing in the fact that the best is still yet to come. 

Happy 16th Anniversary.