How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Um, He’s A Butt Licker?

in Everyday on

After baseball tonight Coach took the entire girls team out for ice cream.  Sweetness.

The parents all gathered around the giant picnic style tables and marvelled at how eight screaming 9 year old girls could be momentarily silenced by the power of ice cream.  

As the babies licked and dribbled their way through their melty cones, I did my best to participate in the halting and strangely awkward conversation between strangers.  Seems if we’re not talking baseball there’s not much to say!  The “rip roaring” conversation about a day spent on the lake was blessedly interrupted with a question.  Little Raquel wanted to know if she could give Coach’s puppy a bit of her ice cream?  “Sure” came the response “This pup loves ice cream”.

Raquel proceeded to lean over and offer the pup a lick.  Straight off her cone!  Then giggled and took a lick herself. “She likes it” Raquel squealed, and gave that dog another taste.  I may have gagged just a little. 

I looked around at the 10 or so other “parental figures”. Everyone was smiling and nodding.  Me?  I was trying not to throw up in my mouth.

One more lick for the dog, and then that little girl finished her cone.  

Inside I was screaming. “No NO NOOO. Ug, germs. Gross. Do you have any idea where that dog has been?  Dogs will eat ANYTHING.  Puppies lick their own butts and eat their own poo and you people are all smiling and grinning thinking this is cute?  This is disgusting.”

Time for me to grab my girls and leave now!  Have to go throw up. Thanks for the ice cream Coach, and the education.  Apparently in the Suburbs dog ass flavoured ice cream is all the rage.

 

Linky Love: Don’t miss this giveaway! THREE Winners.

    • Comments

    1. I always feed my dog off of my plate but once I’m done and then the dishes are done so no germs for us

    7. If you don’t think about it, it doesn’t seem so bad . . . and clearly, no one else was thinking about it! Ha!

    8. Well I will be the odd one out there, I do share things with my dog. I wouldn’t do it with someone else’s dog. Also my dog is not into licking herself down there (wink*)and that’s the truth!

    10. HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! Don’t forget they eat their own barf, too! Gross. Were either of her parents there? I wonder if anyone else was thinking what you were thinking, but forced a smile on their faces? Somebody should’ve told her! LOL!

    11. Yep, I would have a problem with that, too. Imagining it, puts a puzzled look on my face.

      Although, I’ll admit that I watch my kids let our dog lick them all over their faces, which of course, hits the lips here and there.

      Personally, can’t do it. If the dog licks me on the lips, I’m wiping and feeling gross, so I try not to be in a position where it can happen.

      When my dog comes near my mom, she says, “No licky licky.” Good motto!

    12. Totally with you there- eww! Never believed that saying about a dog’s butt being cleaner than a humans.I love my dog, but the butt licking is gross! Definitely would not let my child lick a cone after the dog did! Yuck!