To be read in your best “Bridgette Jones’s Diary” voice because that is how I wrote it!
Weight: Not talking about it, should stop with the chocolate.
Alcohol Units: Zero – Pity.
Cigarettes: Zero –Not a smoker, not much of a victory here.
Dear Diary,
Encountered very wrinkly old gal driving her besty in beat up ol car. Their combined age 170? Old Bitty cut me off at Starbucks drive through and I screamed, okay, muttered rather loudly under my breath “You old bitty, if you can’t see over the steering wheel it is time to turn in your car keys!” “Invest in a booster seat.” So proud. Clearly do not NEED more coffee.
Ran into unkindly gossipy neighbour in the drug store today. No escape. Original plans had me only picking up an ice pack for my sore back. Seriously considered purchase of hemorrhoid cream, wart remover and a pregnancy test just to see what kind of rumours she would start. Hubby thinks it’s cute that I have an arch enemy, I think it is just tiresome.
The University boys are back from Christmas break. Got good and checked out at the deli counter. At first flattered, then very weirded out as it dawned on me that at 39 I am actually old enough to be said University Boys Mama! *shiver
Daughter made up and sent out birthday invitations. One particular little 11 year old can not make the festivities. Did not sigh, was not sad. Did little dance of joy as that child rubs me the wrong way! I am horrible person.
Clearly I am going to hell. Am evil retched person very thankful that senior citizens, arch enemies and children can not read minds.
End of evil thoughts for today.
haha,you are much like me i see
AND, I loved the thought on purchasing rumor sparking goods. Too funny! I’m your newset follower.
LOL! Getting checked out by teen agers is always a weird experience. First, I’m so glad I still get checked out by somebody, but then I realize I’m probably just some sick twisted part of their fantasy to hook up with an old lday. LOL!!!
You are truly an evil genius.
Oh how much I agree with on this. We could stir a lot mischief together! hahaha.
Oh yes I am always so grateful that people cannot read my mind 🙂
You and I think alike!
lol..i actually imagined renee zelwegger (sorry, not good in spelling!)…they say..patience is a virtue.
We’re still works in progress afterall.
Let’s be neighbors! I’m going too. For entirely different reasons, but hey, we can have an eternity to share notes. 😀
Wait…where is he((? Is that in Canada? Do you have to take a plane there? Will all this crazy weather here in the states hinder your travels? Will you have to go through the scanner, like in Total Recall? Will you scream, “TWO WEEKS” and suddenly you’re Arnold and your head explodes? Wait, is He(( on Mars? Is Canada ahead of us in space exploration now? eh??? EH??
*hiding in corner, pulling out my hair*
If those things are going to get you sent to the under-world, I surely already have a room waiting for me!