How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

It Takes All Kinds & I Milked A Cow?

in Everyday on

Have you ever seen a 17 year old “parent” yelling at their kid to “cut the line” and “dodge to the front” while a lit cigarette dangles from their mouth?  Classy.

Have you ever paid $5.00 for the privilege of having the pants scared off you as you ride in the sky much higher then any human person should be ….with nothing but a few cables keeping you from certain death …on the “Sky Ryder” over 2 miles of packed parking lot turned carney heaven?

P5250301Have you ever had to tell your kids it’s not polite to stare…. Yes even if that Mama is taking her baby’s blanket out of his stroller and using it as a shawl to keep herself warm.

Have you ever wondered why you need a license to drive a car but anyone can have a kid?

Then you were probably at the same county fair I was this weekend!  What is it about the fair that brings out the different and the strange?  I witnessed screaming matches, finger wagging and foot stomping….and that was from the so called parental figures. 

On more then one occasion I bit the inside of my cheek so I wouldn’t offer unsolicited advice…like you know, “It’s freakin cold out chic, put your kids sweater and coat on and stop blowing smoke into her precious pink lungs.”  By the end of the night all I could do was giggle and exchange conspiratorial looks with my Hubby. We are far from perfect parents but we do at least try and put the kids safety and needs first.  Sigh. 

In other news, I know at the very least, I gave my girls one good belly laugh on Friday night.  I was pulled from the crowd at the Pig Races to compete for a Dinner for Two.  I had to complete an obstacle course and then milk a cow?  Oh crap. 

Here I am “Blondie” as I was dubbed, getting my instructions, my wheelbarrow and meeting my competition.

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Then I milked that cow.  Thank GOODNESS this cow was made of wood.  This girl from the Suburbs does not have any country in her, but I won that contest!  Dinner for 2 was a can of Pork and Beans with a candle taped to the side.  Humiliation complete. 

P5250266By the time the night was over we were stuffed with over priced fudge and elephant ears, and our arms were overflowing with a ridiculous number of carnival prizes that all the  good suckers  parents win for their kids.

P5250307We came, we laughed, we humiliated the Mom.  We will go back next year and do it all again!  Long live the Fair.

    • Comments

    1. That was great, thanks for sharing!!
      Sometimes it doesn’t matter where you are, the fair, Walmart or your in-laws house…oops, did I really say that?!
      We aren’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination either, but you are soo right, the kids come first!
      Love that you included a the pics of you and the cow too!!

    7. I hope you enjoy those beans by candle light. That is hilarious. Our fair is the same way, but probably a little worse. All the thugs tend to migrate to our county fair on the weekends (LA). I usually go there during the week, in the middle of the day because it an get pretty ridiculous.

    11. that must be interesting! not everyone gets to milk a cow haha… I was at the ex a few weeks ago and yes, i noticed very similar situations … hope the best for the less fortunate children and people out there!

    15. HA!! i love this! sadly, i see it all the time on the school bus.. with the parent with the cig dangling from the mouth wanting to know why the bus goes A instead of B etc….

      i’m glad you wont the dinner for 2…. it sure looks like you had a wonderful time.