How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

It Takes All Kinds & I Milked A Cow?

in Everyday on

Have you ever seen a 17 year old “parent” yelling at their kid to “cut the line” and “dodge to the front” while a lit cigarette dangles from their mouth?  Classy.

Have you ever paid $5.00 for the privilege of having the pants scared off you as you ride in the sky much higher then any human person should be ….with nothing but a few cables keeping you from certain death …on the “Sky Ryder” over 2 miles of packed parking lot turned carney heaven?

P5250301Have you ever had to tell your kids it’s not polite to stare…. Yes even if that Mama is taking her baby’s blanket out of his stroller and using it as a shawl to keep herself warm.

Have you ever wondered why you need a license to drive a car but anyone can have a kid?

Then you were probably at the same county fair I was this weekend!  What is it about the fair that brings out the different and the strange?  I witnessed screaming matches, finger wagging and foot stomping….and that was from the so called parental figures. 

On more then one occasion I bit the inside of my cheek so I wouldn’t offer unsolicited advice…like you know, “It’s freakin cold out chic, put your kids sweater and coat on and stop blowing smoke into her precious pink lungs.”  By the end of the night all I could do was giggle and exchange conspiratorial looks with my Hubby. We are far from perfect parents but we do at least try and put the kids safety and needs first.  Sigh. 

In other news, I know at the very least, I gave my girls one good belly laugh on Friday night.  I was pulled from the crowd at the Pig Races to compete for a Dinner for Two.  I had to complete an obstacle course and then milk a cow?  Oh crap. 

Here I am “Blondie” as I was dubbed, getting my instructions, my wheelbarrow and meeting my competition.

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Then I milked that cow.  Thank GOODNESS this cow was made of wood.  This girl from the Suburbs does not have any country in her, but I won that contest!  Dinner for 2 was a can of Pork and Beans with a candle taped to the side.  Humiliation complete. 

P5250266By the time the night was over we were stuffed with over priced fudge and elephant ears, and our arms were overflowing with a ridiculous number of carnival prizes that all the  good suckers  parents win for their kids.

P5250307We came, we laughed, we humiliated the Mom.  We will go back next year and do it all again!  Long live the Fair.

    • Comments

    2. Oh GOD. The things I have seen at the fair! The most ickiest of people, seriously. GROSS ME OUT. And yes, I wonder all tlhe time why people don’t need a license to have children. ALL the time…

    3. i’d kill to go to our fair and see Big Tex, but alas hubs isn’t a fan (not only that…but i’d be afraid to find my car stripped down to the studs since the part of town is freakin scary)

      as for the biting ur tongue moments …shesh those were tough….esp the lady who took the blanket from the kid to keep warm! (*#$**#)

    10. Glad you could entertain your kids in several ways.:)

      Oh, and the stuff you witnessed…nothing like a fair to bring out all the various types of human beings. It’s like being at Walmart. But we love’em anyway…maybe?

    11. Were you at the fair or Wal-Mart? Because the people you described, they hang out at WalMart, A LOT.

      LOL, it looks fun, and you still managed to look fabulous milking that wooden cow!!

    12. They do bring out all kinds of strange people. That’s the beauty of the fair, though. Great people watching!

      So glad to hear the cow was made out of wood. It actually looks like you had fun milking it. The prize of course, made it all worth while. LOL…only at the fair!

      Have a good day!

    14. I haven’t been to the fair in ages. Only thing I like about it is the junky, fattening food! Funnel cake, yum!

      You milked a wooden cow, lol! Did you eat your pork and beans dinner?