My Dad called me last night. All kinds of excited. His first question “So, what furniture do you want from the cottage, were selling”. Dad said what? Huh?
The parents have decided that it is time to sell the old family cottage they have been using as a home for the past 20 years and downsize to a condo. Mom and Dad put me on the dreaded speaker phone and chatted on and on about the benefits of condo living, the proximity to the community pool, beach access, and how they won’t have to do yard work or stairs anymore. Were they trying to convince me or themselves?
I looked at pictures with them (on line) as they chatted about furniture placement and all of their things they are going to have to get rid of.
After nearly an hour, I congratulated them on their big move and hung up. Then looked at my Hubby and with one big crocodile tear rolling down my cheek asked him
“Why the hell am I finding this so upsetting?”.
I knew the answer and didn’t need him to spell it out for me.
It’s not that they are packing up 20 years of memories, the closest thing we have had to a “family home” for Thanksgivings and Christmas celebrations. It’s not that they are selling the place I ran to when I had the big news to share that we were expecting our first baby. The place where I know my kids always have a room to stay. It’s not that they so easily part with their prized possessions while I seem to accumulate everyone else’s junk in my basement.
It was the sudden realization that… my folks are getting old.
The cottage has become too much for them. My Dad is afraid he can’t handle the stairs much longer. He just re-painted the outside and doesn’t ever want to do it again. The roof will need work soon and that is too hard. There is grass and snow and gardening and and and ……it is just too much.
Sigh. I’m not ready for my youngest to turn 9, my oldest to creep ever closer to 12 or for my parents to get old.
Can someone please stop the clock? Just for a little while…..
Psst 2 Days Until the Toy GiveAway
Well MM, you know what they say, there are two things once lost can never be taken back: time and words spoken. This is a timely post as I was just thinking about how time flies and how 35 years of my life zipped right past by. So I decided to take things slow and enjoy because the thought of another 35 years zipping by is pretty darn scary!
It’s no joke watching your parents age, and become unable to do the things they used to. I so know how you feel.
I went through the opposite. My parents are not declining yet…and hopefully not for many years. But they divorced last year and when they left the house that I had the most childhood memories in I felt like a part of me was gone. Going through that house helping to get everything done nearly caused anxiety attacks. Eventually I started to lose my attachment to the house, because without my parents living there it just didnt feel the same any more. But this week I saw someones vehicle in that driveway and I was overwhelmed with emotion at the idea of someone else living in “my parents house”
I understand. The fact that time marches on, can be extremely painful! {hugs}
I know what you mean. I’m ready for someone to stop that clock. Or at least slow it down significantly.
I know that feeling so well. It broke my heart to see the decline of my father over the last 10 years and I cried many, many times over it. He died 2 years ago accidentally, but I think for his sake it was a blessing. Anyhow, I still have my mom but it pains me to watch her aging too.
I really feel for you!
Awwww… I was actually thinking about this last night! My parents aren’t even old – they are both 54 and in decent health, still working, etc… but I’ve watched my grandparents (who also live by themselves) get to a point where they need help.
It makes me sad to think that someday that will be MY mom and dad.
HUGS
agreed my friend….. so true!!!
my parents do speaker phone through the blue tooth stuff in the car. so that’s even worse than normal speakerphone!
on a serious note, i know what you mean, though. i’ve been having these same realizations about my p’s in the past year, and am thankful that my brother is at least local to them to help out.
It would be nice to be able to stop time just for a little while. Thanks for joining us.
It goes too fast. I understand. My parents bought a cottage so they would hve somewhere for us to all “show up”? but really? we all end up at the real house. It’s a lot for them. I’m having a very hard time with these concepts, yet my 97yrold GM still lives in her own house?
I am glad that they are excited about their new move, but I understand how it feels to think about our parents getting older. I still think of them the same I did when I was a teen..they are not supposed to be OLD.
I just talked to my dad last night and he was talking about his upcoming shoulder and knee surgeries. He said….”Getting old is not fun.” He’s 62. It’s weird to think of our parents as getting old. Dad was always stong and Mom could burn the candle at both ends. I see them slowing down and telling me the same story a couple times. Time flies by so fast 🙁
awe *hugs* this sucks.
can you buy the home?
Oh, I completely understand how you feel. I can’t imagine not being able to go back home to the house I grew up in. Every so often something happens to remind me that my parents are getting older, and it is scary.