It was a rare event. Three free hours with no Hubby, no kids. I could have headed home and done some laundry, paid those bills read some blogs. I decided to take a walk on the wild side and actually do something for me. Off to my little nail salon for a wee bit of pampering. With the help of my fancy hands free blue tooth I managed to secure myself the very last nail appointment of the day. This might be the best idea I have had in a long time. Was going to get myself some of these.
I arrived just in time to say goodbye to the assistant nail tech and have a quick chat with the second last customer of the day. I’m all kinds of friendly like that. It wasn’t long before I was enjoying the familiar gossipy talk Hyde always offers up when I mange to squeeze in a visit. He filed, and laughed and chatted. I tried to be witty and keep up.
Suddenly the atmosphere in the tiny nail salon changed. I could feel it, I could see it on Hyde’s face, but to be honest I didn’t know what the hell was going on. A tiny little girl walked up to where we were seated.
Hyde, you have been served.
Ummm Awkward.
Yeah this little trip to the nail salon. Not so much fun for me anymore. Even less fun for Hyde.
He needed me to help him decipher the paperwork. English is not his first language. He is being sued for full custody of his 2 week old son. Gut punch.
Now I am usually all about the Mamas, but Hyde is in a tough place.
He is a first generation immigrant from Vietnam. He is looking after his elderly parents who are not well, and speak no English. They live with him. This is expected in his culture. It is his honor and his duty. His parents have told him if he try’s to bring this girlfriend OR his son home, they will not “be recognized”. Then …Hyde will be disowned.
Hyde told me if he let’s his son go “he will never in his life be happy”. Yet, if try’s to remain involved in his sons life, he will lose both parents, bring disgrace to his family and “never in his life be happy”.
You know what is not a lot of fun? Having a man paint your nails with tears in his eyes.
You know what is less fun? Being that man and being forced to pick between your culture, your parents……..or your newborn son.
I’m a free thinking, independent, self centered? Canadian girl. I know what I would do. Easy for me. My heart belongs to my children, not my culture. My parents would lose in this game of school yard pick. I don’t know what our friend Hyde is going to do. I think it’s harder for him.
What would you do?
Wow such a sad story. i don’t even think I can comment on this. My heart say my child.
As easy as it may sound for us, having to choose between our parents and children is never an easy choice. Your parents were the ones that took care of you through whatever life situations you encountered up until you become an independent adult. I always remind myself this…that my parents were there for me when no one was. I don’t think it’s a cultural thing. I think something must of happened that caused the parents to draw the fine line. If I were Hyde, I’d tell my parents that I have to be a responsible parent and it doesn’t help that there’s a court order. I’ll let them know that whatever issue they may have with either me or my boyfriend, that the child is innocent and shouldn’t be pulled into the adult mess.
I’d choose my child. We are all free to make our own decisions, no matter the culture. His son did not ask to be born and deserves so much more than to be surrounded by guilt. I hope things work out for Hyde and his son.
Bummer for Hyde. I would have to say my children too. They are my top priority.
Bummer for Hyde. I would have to say my children too. They are my top priority.
Im guessing that the mother of the baby may be American and that’s the real reason the baby and girlfriend won’t be recognized. Very sad but on the bright side your nails are beautiful.
What a sad post! It is amazing what people have to endure. To read this I am reminded of my own blessings. To read this makes me incredibly sad for Hyde. What a predicament!
Mama Hen
Heartbreaking decision for Hyde. I’d pick my kids hands down.
There isn’t even a question for me. Nobody could come between me and my son! Poor guy!
Poor Hyde…this is gut wrenching.
I am with you, I would go with the baby…that is his future.
I could never understand a cultur (or parents) that would make you choose.
Bless him.
Poor Hyde! I know I’d chose the child and let the parents make the decision. How could a loving parent put their child in a situation like that? Keep us posted on what happens to him.
Carol
This is so sad! I hope everything works out for him!! 🙁
Wow. I could not image what he must be feeling. We can say all day long what we would do in his situation, but not having been raised in the manner in which he was we can’t say what we would do.
No being raised in the manner that I was, I would no doubt pick my kiddos, but it’s different for him. I’m going to pray for him.
wow! what a mess for him. I do hope that he finds a way to have this work.
If it were me? I’d pick my hubbie nad kids. I’ve done it before for “tiny” things but I’d so do it.
Yep, definitely can’t say I’ve been in a situation like that! Wow. I feel for the guy. But I, like you, would ditch the ‘rents. 🙂