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How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Resolutions After The Bowl

in Uncategorized on 02/08/10


You know how there are New Years Resolutions? Yeah, well, I am no good at those.
I’m never going to eat better, exercise more or worry less.
I love my junk, my Bow Flex is an awesome Laundry hanger and I am pretty sure worrying is part of my DNA.
My conclusion, New Years Eve Resolutions suck. No one can keep them, they just end up making you feel like a great big fat lazy failure.
Boo.

This morning, the sun came up and I had an epiphany!
I am giving up on New Years Resolutions and embracing Super Bowl Resolutions!

Things I will do differently next year:
#1) I declare that from now on I will find a cute guy on both teams to cheer for. This way no matter who wins, ModernMom is happy.
#2) I will never again try to explain to my children that the Super Bowl is just as exciting to Daddy as High School Musical 3 was to them. They don’t get it. I shall find something else for them to do.
#3) I will add veggies into next years SuperBowl menu. Too many carbs. Too much glorious junk left us all feeling bloated and guilty. A couple of celery sticks would have gone a long way.
#4) I resolve that I will never again feed my dear Hubby Eggs, Nachos and Chili at the same Super Bowl Party. That combination along with his team winning left me with one content man. You know what this means? A man who is capable of farting in this sleep. *shiver

Our little SuperBowl Party was fab this year.
I repected his game, he cued me when the commercials were coming on.
With my new Super Bowl Resolutions I know next year, it will be even better.

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    Comments

    1. Fragrant Liar says

      February 9, 2010 at 12:04 am

      Well if he waits till he’s asleep to fart, consider yourself lucky. Plan ahead next time (this is your #5) to make him sleep on the couch when the game is over.

    2. Matty says

      February 8, 2010 at 11:56 pm

      Hey, carbs are perfect for a super bowl party. It’s only once a year.

    3. Mighty M says

      February 8, 2010 at 11:17 pm

      Great resolutions! I am sure next year’s Superbowl will be the best ever for you! 🙂

    4. Secretia says

      February 8, 2010 at 10:06 pm

      This is a farting emergency!!

      Our house the rules are: no farting in the same room as the other person–outside is best, any kind of weather-get outside!

      No farting in the car. Wait a few minutes after farting before you get in the car with another person.

      Not asking too much!
      Farts=forget about sex!

      Secretia

    5. ChiTown Girl says

      February 8, 2010 at 9:57 pm

      This is BRILLIANT!

    6. Just Breathe says

      February 8, 2010 at 9:49 pm

      Love your resolutions. You have me laughing pretty loud! I am a person filled with allot of gas and it just makes me laugh.

    7. Much More Than Mommy says

      February 8, 2010 at 9:49 pm

      Genius! 😀

    8. Monique-aka-Surferwife23 says

      February 8, 2010 at 9:45 pm

      ok seriously. You could have rolled my fat butt right out of the party we attended. And I even added a few carrots in. Trust, it did NOT go a long way.

    9. happygal says

      February 8, 2010 at 9:39 pm

      excellent plan. and totally agree on the non-menu plan. good call.

    10. Lisa "One Mom's Weight Loss" says

      February 8, 2010 at 9:31 pm

      So funny. What is it with men doing that in their sleep?? Since I was lying awake sick all night from the cold my husband passed on to me….well you know what I heard!!! We had nachos, chicken quesadillas, and brownies with peanut butter frosting. Now that I write that out…I realize it was not a great combo for a gasless hubby…

      Glad to know I’m not the only woman suffering out here alone…lol.

    11. Technodoll says

      February 8, 2010 at 9:28 pm

      That is why I have my own duvet, thankyouverymuch! No husband dutch oven for me 😀

      Mmm carbs… sounds pretty awesome… why mess up a good thing with celery sticks? C’mon, eat salad the day after but a party is a partaaay! And farts are part of the inevitable.

    12. Insanitykim says

      February 8, 2010 at 9:08 pm

      Oh, #4 is so important to change so his #2 doesn’t force you to call the # 911…

      Wait, what number do you call in an emergency, eh?

    13. kim says

      February 8, 2010 at 8:31 pm

      I am not into superbowl football too much either

      your comment about the bow flex is a laundry hangar made me laugh. thats probably what it would end up being in my house too.

    14. Vodka Logic says

      February 8, 2010 at 6:53 pm

      Good idea, I suck at New Years resolutions as well..

      Next year I’m not working on SuperBowl Sunday

    15. Annie says

      February 8, 2010 at 6:53 pm

      HA! i love your plan!
      maybe next year i’ll actually watch the game. with these goals it might be enjoyable 😉

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    Travel addict, sun seeker, coffee drinker, fashion lover, picture taker. This is a peek behind the closed and competitive doors of the suburbs. A place to come to learn about the best places to travel with your kids in Canada, the United States, the Caribbean and beyond! stephanie@sassymodernmom.com
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