How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

The 5 Stages of Hubby’s Going on Another Flipping “Working” Vacation Envy

in Everyday on

Posted by Picasa

You know how there are 5 stages of grief. Yeah, well apparently there are also 5 stages of Vacation Envy.

More specifically: “He has gone golfing with 7 other dudes to sunny Florida and left me with two kids, the pets, in the middle of a wicked Canadian blizzard and I am jealous as hell Vacation Envy.”

Stage 1: Denial

Oh No He did NOT plan another “working” vacation and leave me behind to fend for myself. If you recall, I have given up on the women’s lib stuff for a bit. I am perfectly prepared to be looked after for a while.

Stage 2: Anger

How in the hell does he think this qualifies as WORK?? 8 days, 7 rounds of golf, 1 Anaheim Ducks Hockey Game, copious amounts of booze…oh yes three hours at the International Golf Show. Is this work?

Stage 3: Bargaining

Fine. You go ahead. Go on your “work” vacay. But first, I need you to come grocery shopping with me, fix the toilet, bring some wood in and stack it near the fireplace, rub my back, pledge your undying love…you get the idea.

Stage 4: Depression

I don’t do enough for me. He’s gone. He’s getting a tan and going to come home lookin all hot, I’m pasty. Bring on the chocolate. No need to shave my legs today.

Stage 5: Acceptance

Might as well make the most of it. Sushi for 1. Girly movies complete with sobbing. I have a king size bed to myself! Rejoice that my bathroom and kitchen counters stay clean? Paint my toes electric blue and no need to share the popcorn.

All this and when he gets home, I can play the “You left me all alone” guilt card for at least a week.

In a marriage more then 13 years old…this is priceless.

    • Comments

    2. His Lordship works away a lot, he’s been gone all week over in Europe, it’s great, lot’s of lovely pressies to make up for not being around. He’s also developed a real flare for shopping, I got a fabulous handbag from Italy and shoes from Paris on the last trip. He’s due home at 10pm tonight, I’m a tad excited… it will be nice to see him of course too ;0}

    3. That is unfair, so when he gets back you can go away with your girl friends to Las Vegas for a week! He’ll be OK with that, won’t he?

      Secretia

    4. My hubs left yesterday morning. The guilt trip started last night. And I quote, “The kids would never be doing these things if you were home!”

      It would be devious if it weren’t true. Seriously, do leash tied to rocking chair and hooked to a belt loop to be dragged around the house! Was I a horrible child to deserve this punishment?

    8. Ummm…I’m with you. How exactly does this pass as a “work” trip? Unless he’s a professional golfer I’m having my doubts! I’d be peeved and laying the guilt on might thick!

    10. If it makes you feel any better, it is pouring down rain in my part of the Sunshine State, which would mean cancelled golf, too much time spent at the bar, and then a hangover to ruin tomorrow’s round.

      I think I’m still in the Anger phase on your behalf. 😉

    11. So funny. My husband just received pictures from his “work” trip the other day. Snowmobiling in Idaho. “Aren’t these pictures great? Doesn’t it look fun?”

      Well…yes stupid…but if you would remember I was HOME with your offspring eating leftovers and sulking. Pictures? Seriously…Gee hon…glad you had FUN!!!

    12. The Husband has had to travel for work 1x/month since November, and will until the summer or even early fall. To be honest, I *love* that time after the kids have gone to bed that I have to myself!! Do you know what it means?? NO ESPN!!! 😀

      I miss him when he’s gone though, and I don’t even mind SportsCenter when he returns. (For a little while!) 😉