How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Thanksgiving for 15. . . . . and then she rested.

in Uncategorized on

Want to hear the truth about Thanksgiving?
Well, it’s great.
As long as it is at someone else’s house!!
Spend 2 days cleaning up your home. If you are anything like me. Procrastinate so much you still end up doing some crazy kind of shuffle and hide so your house is presentable before the first guest arrives.

Spend a few hundred dollars shopping for the essentials..then send the Hubby out in a panic because you forgot the Cranberry sauce that Grandma simply must have.
Oh good grief. Don’t forget the booze eh?

Then let the cooking begin!

Let’s talk Turkey.

Raw Poultry is truly disgusting.

Seriously! Have you ever really looked at that poor dimpled skinned turkey before you stuff it’s butt and neck full of bread and seasoning? Ug. Big Gag factor. BIG! Plus you are supposed to massage it with butter? Huh? Forget it. If I’m not massaging my Husband, I’m sure as hell not massaging a dead bird.

Get that bird in the oven in the nick of time.

Yell at the kids that yes they must wear the clothes you put out for them.

Beg your Hubby to turn the football off, just for a couple of hours.

Sprint through the shower.

Coral the pets.

One last vacuum.

Check the potatoes and disgusting bird.

Ahhhh. Ready.

.

.

.

.

Then they are freakin late! Are you kidding me.

When all your tardy guests do finally arrive. Get a nice visit in.

Eat that huge meal you spent 2 days preparing for as fast as any Big Mac Combo.

Sit back in your squeaky wood dinette chair that is only used 3 times a year and enjoy your moment of satisfaction.

There, did you enjoy it?
Good moment over.

Now go look at the flipin dishes!

It looks like a small bomb went off in there!

But don’t worry, I’m sure you lovely FAMILY will help. Nope,they have to run.

Mwah, Mwah.

Do dishes for two more days.

UG.

The only saving grace.

You get the leftovers.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving Y’all.

Hope you get to go to your Mother In Laws House!

    • Comments

    2. Okay….now you’re scaring me because I’m THINKING about having Thanksgiving at our house this year but have not committed completely……..after reading your post I swear that I just cannot do it! Ugh! Ugh! No way, the cleaning, the cooking, more cleaning and then even more cleaning. And the dishes!?
      I’m calling my SIL right now (which is where we generally have our Thanksgiving at) and convince her that it must be at her home this year! (her kids are grown and out of the house so it’s easy peasy for her–more or less! LOL!) She’s a great cook whereas I am NOT–giggle giggle!

      Anyways, hope you are resting up after your Thanksgiving!

    4. Happy late Thanksgiving! I bet it was amazingly delicious. I love the cranberry sauce too. I’m hoping to go to a hotel for American Thanksgiving dinner here in China this year.

    5. I have seen this scene before..oh yeah my house. Every year I threaten turkey hot dogs (microwaved even!)…everyone laughs, but one day I will do it.
      Holly @ 504 Main

    6. How awesome are you!!! What a great post, and how true. How sad and true. Please tell me at least someone helped you with the clean up!
      Enjoy your much deserved left-overs!!

    9. I will never, if I can avoid it, have Thanksgiving at my house. I don’t have a big house or a big dining room table, or a dining room for that matter. I am not a good cook and I hate to clean. Not a holiday for me at my house. We go to other people’s houses!

    14. You need to do Thanksgiving the way we do Thanksgiving…potluck style. Everyone gets an item to bring, I strategically get mashed potatoes every year because I’m the only one that can make decent potatoes. That’s the only hazard, sometimes the person in charge of a certain dish royally screws it up. However, we have learned to give those people the job of bringing the olives or butter.