How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Thanksgiving for 15. . . . . and then she rested.

in Uncategorized on

Want to hear the truth about Thanksgiving?
Well, it’s great.
As long as it is at someone else’s house!!
Spend 2 days cleaning up your home. If you are anything like me. Procrastinate so much you still end up doing some crazy kind of shuffle and hide so your house is presentable before the first guest arrives.

Spend a few hundred dollars shopping for the essentials..then send the Hubby out in a panic because you forgot the Cranberry sauce that Grandma simply must have.
Oh good grief. Don’t forget the booze eh?

Then let the cooking begin!

Let’s talk Turkey.

Raw Poultry is truly disgusting.

Seriously! Have you ever really looked at that poor dimpled skinned turkey before you stuff it’s butt and neck full of bread and seasoning? Ug. Big Gag factor. BIG! Plus you are supposed to massage it with butter? Huh? Forget it. If I’m not massaging my Husband, I’m sure as hell not massaging a dead bird.

Get that bird in the oven in the nick of time.

Yell at the kids that yes they must wear the clothes you put out for them.

Beg your Hubby to turn the football off, just for a couple of hours.

Sprint through the shower.

Coral the pets.

One last vacuum.

Check the potatoes and disgusting bird.

Ahhhh. Ready.

.

.

.

.

Then they are freakin late! Are you kidding me.

When all your tardy guests do finally arrive. Get a nice visit in.

Eat that huge meal you spent 2 days preparing for as fast as any Big Mac Combo.

Sit back in your squeaky wood dinette chair that is only used 3 times a year and enjoy your moment of satisfaction.

There, did you enjoy it?
Good moment over.

Now go look at the flipin dishes!

It looks like a small bomb went off in there!

But don’t worry, I’m sure you lovely FAMILY will help. Nope,they have to run.

Mwah, Mwah.

Do dishes for two more days.

UG.

The only saving grace.

You get the leftovers.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving Y’all.

Hope you get to go to your Mother In Laws House!

    • Comments

    1. I became official family host of every occasion since we built the house. I have also decided that we will eat whatever it is that I want to cook. No mashed potatoes? They’ll get over it, or volunteer to either bring or host next year.

      So far that hasn’t worked like I thought it would, but they’ve stopped complaining about the food, too.

    2. This is very funny. I do the same thing, but we DO have it here every year for the same amount of folks…but 1/2 of them are STAYING at my house, so they get to help with the prep and clean up. I love it though…nothing better than leftover turkey and potatoes!!!!
      Glad you survived.

    5. Sounds like a great visit. The bird is not disgusting, you could go prestuffed, and cook from frozen and not even have to look at him. 🙂

    6. Happy belated Thanksgiving! We got calls in from my sisters-in-law and they were complaining of the amount of food they had eaten for Thanksgiving… Well, I’m thankful that we don’t really celebrate Thanksgiving over here. (Although it would be nice…)

    7. It is soooo much work. I do it all for my family. Just six of us eating but it is always worth it.
      Love the meal, hate the work, love the leftovers, need the wine!
      That was a long post for you!

    11. I still have a little over a month before I have to deal with all this. Your description of the “event” is hilarious! Still, I’m looking forward to it, and may even be hosting this year. Yikes!

      Happy (Belated) Thanksgiving!

    13. I despise doing the dishes on Thanksgiving! Last year it took me over an hour to do them (by myself). Everyone else was sleeping. I hate my family. 😉