How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Oxymoron’s from a Real Desperate HouseWife

in Everyday on

I’m baking low fat oatmeal muffins and cramming in as many chocolate chips as the batter can hold.

I’m drinking my 8 glasses of water hoping to shed a pound or two….chasing each glass with some super yummy chocolate and minty girl guide cookies.

I spend 20 minutes in the morning covering my face in make-up so I can look more natural.

Told my kids they have spent enough time in front of the TV, but yes they can play on the computer.

Must stop overspending, but the sale at Banana Republic is so so good!

I do pride myself on not being one of those “competitive Mom’s” but man was I ticked off when my kid was passed over for a higher level group in gymnastics for the daughter of the Office Manager of the Gym. mmmm favoritism?

I hate gossip, but loved hearing she’s taking her cheating spouse to the cleaners.

Salad for dinner. Popcorn and coke for 10pm snack.

I truly think recycling is important, but just threw out yet another Tupperware container full of unidentifiable moldy mush with a gag factor of 10.

I am currently wearing my new Spanx while eating previously mentioned not so low fat muffins.

Yep, that’s me, just trying to get through life in the Suburbs.

    • Comments

    1. I so spit out some coffee when I read the spanx one that is classic my dear. I don’t think i could even get those suckers up .. LOL

      I’ve always thought the make up one was too funny!

    3. My husband makes us compost everything and sometimes I just don’t feel I have the time. So, this week when he went out of town, I threw away all of our leftovers that had been sitting in the fridge for days and weeks. And I didn’t compost. I threw them in the trash. It felt really good.

    7. “but just threw out yet another Tupperware container full of unidentifiable moldy mush with a gag factor of 10.”

      I am such a fan of the oxymoron. Enjoyed this post.

    12. I find those containers of mystery ingredients often to be the source of the mystery stink in the refrigerator.

      You’re better than me. The popcorn and coke would have been the dinner and the snack. 😉

    14. HAHHAHAHA! I love this! If I had been eating a cookie right now, like I want to be, I would totally be choking on it from my guffawing, which would be uncomfortable but so worth it…oh yes…

      Love your blog, will be visiting often from the comforts of my blog roll…also, let me see if there is a button to steal….