How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

The Ultimate Suburban Mom Uniform?

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I have caved. I purchased the ultimate in the essential suburban mom uniform.
A pair of Lululemon pants and of course a little hoodie to go with them.
The process to get these little babies was a unique shopping experience that will not soon be forgotten! As I wandered about this somewhat spandex laden store I realized I was surrounded by an alarming number of uber fit women. I ignored them all and searched out the pants who as urban legend will have it..is famed to transform all butts into objects of art. A few hard bodies disguised as women was not going to dissuade me from seeing if this legend was true.
Now. To the selection. I scoop up my size. (I’m not telling you my size, it’s none of your business) But, am I a tall or a regular? I am a tall girl. Nearly 5 foot 10 inches but I have to tell you, doing that thing we all do, holding those pants up to myself to “measure” them, it looks like these tall pants were made for Amazons! I grab some pants in my size, and the size up. (No girl wants to have to beg for someone to go get her a size bigger, size smaller great, bigger no.) Also grabbed both the regular and tall variety. My arms were getting full!

The perky little sales girl at the changing room requests my name and writes it down on a white board attached to my change room in big bold script. She then proceeds to ask me what I will be using my Lulus for?
Thinking on my feet I quickly stammer “Oh, just my treadmill at home.”
Shut.Up.
What was I supposed to say?
I can’t tell her I just want these pants to strut around the house in. That I just came in to see if the urban legend was true. That I want to see if these are truly magic pants that makes your ass look 10 years younger. That I figure my Hubby might think they are hot.

I slip out of my jeans and into the Lulus.
AHHHH… What. Turn. Turn. Giggle. Seriously?
Price check.
Gulp. $98.00
Don’t care!
These pants are GREAT!
I’m buying a new butt today!
I can not get to the cash register fast enough.

I text Hubby from the parking lot.

Bought new pants u r going to LUV.

Oh Yeah. Let me just say. The legend? She is true.
Run, don’t walk, to get yourself some new Lululemons and the brand new swagger that comes with it.

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    • Comments

    2. Yay for you! I love my lulu’s… I have 4 pairs! My sister – she has like a dozen! But she does work out religiously. I, on the other hand, wear them as soon as I get home from work, to wear around the house, to play with the kids, or to go to the park. And sometimes, to work out, too! They are awesome – I wore them throughout both my pregnancies, too! They are great before and after pants! Enjoy them!
      Loved reading about your shopping experience!

    4. So that’s how you got such a nice tush?? Thanks for sharing the secret. I have the Marshall’s discount workout pants. I REFUSE to ever wear my hair with a hat and a ponytail through the opening like so many Suburban Mamacitas.

    6. You crack me up. I have heard this rumor also…you have me wondering now….do they make them for short gals too? I will look myself. 🙂

    7. I had the same reaction in the fitting room at LuluLemon when buying my first pair. And it was just after having my first son so I was elated at finding a pair of pants that didn’t make me look like an elephant. I also love them because they last well – I have washed and dried mine hundreds of times and they still look as good as when I bought them. Worth the money I think.

    8. They sound awesome. I think my daughter would like them. I don’t think my Big OLD Butt would like them. Or should I say they wouldn’t like my Big OLD Butt! Thank you for sharing this information, I hadn’t heard of them.

    10. Dammit. Now I’m really going to have to get a pair, aren’t I? Although, I don’t know that even those legendary Lulus can help this butt!

      Congrats on your purchase. Hope you feel fantastic wearing them!!

    13. Great post!!!
      Someone else recently mentioned these Lulu’s you speak of, but I have to wonder if my large derriere would even look great in them? LOL hmmm maybe *I* should just check them out. I mean I do run but maybe I would be hawt when dropping the kids off to school?