How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

The Cursed Pool

in Everyday on


Stupid Pool.
Why do you hate me?
No one wants to swim in a green slimey swamp.

I will show you. No toxic floaties will keep my babies from enjoying the sunshine.

Turn ON your foolish pool pump.
TURN ON.
Kick.
Ouch!
Told ya to turn on..

I am vacuuming but all the freaking dirt and slime is just blowing around.
What the hell is going on?

Stomp

Stomp

Back and forth I walk like an idiot. From pool to pump, from pump to pool.

Wiggle a knob, adjust a lever. Something has got to work.

Basket is full of dead leaves and worms. Lovely. That could be part of my problem.

Gross..mashed up worm bits and beetle bits. Clean.It.Out. (used a stick)

Back to the vacuum.

Oh. For crying out loud. Why is the green recycling? Why do I see streams of green through my crystal clear water?? This vacuum is still not working right.

Where is that creepy pool guy who talks to my boobs when I need him?

Oh Gee. It helps if the hose is plugged in.

Ha Ha!! Dirt is now miraculously sucking up the vacuum hose, through the basket and running all over my driveway. That’s Okay, I’ll wash the driveway down later. Must get slime out of pool.

I’ve been out here how long?

2 1/2 hours?

Enough is enough. Where is the pool shock.

Take that you stupid pool. Shock You!

See you tomorrow for Round 2.

    • Comments

    1. ROFL, you think maybe we should call the pool man when we think Swamp Thing is going to come crawling out of the pool. Mine is beginning to turn as well…..scary….he comes the chemicals and cursing.

    2. Hahaha! Oh, I’m so glad that wasn’t me having to go through all of that – glad all I have to do is SWIM in my inlaw’s pool! I just would not have the patience to go through what you did!

    3. And this is why I don’t have a pool bigger than a Mr Turtle Pool.
      It sounds like way to much work.

      Although a hot pool guy named Rico could change my mind 🙂