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How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Passive Aggressive Love Letters. . . .To My Family

in Uncategorized on 06/15/09

Dearest SweetGirl
When I am asking you to be quick like a Bunny because you are going to be late for school, that actually means..MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! Please don’t think because I am using my best Mommy sing song voice it is because I want to see your sweetest ballet move as you slowly ascend the stairs to brush your teeth. I am using that voice because if I unleash the drill Sergeant voice that is currently rumbling inside my head I will scare you and send you into reverse. Forward motion baby. Quick like a Bunny. PLEASE!!!

Dearest Hubby
Love of my life.
Please…for the love of Pete..put your undies IN the hamper.

Dear BlueEyes
I’m sorry you can’t find your favorite sweat shirt. Yes I agree it is beautiful. Does stomping your feet and whining about it make you feel better becasue you are kind of scaring me! Who is this pre-PMSing girl and what has she done with my child? Is this a small glimpse of what the teenage years will look like?
The last time I wore your sweatshirt I’m sure I put it back where it belonged!!
This really is not a crisis. Honestly it is not worth tears. Hang on baby we will find it together.

Dear Great Grandma
Oh I do love you with my entire heart. Now that this has been said, when I say “Hey Granny how are you”? It really is just a conversation starter. I don’t want a run down of your aching back, sore knee, itchy arm, cracked skin, rumbly tummy, time on toilet today and what color you coughed up this morning! If you have a new ailment that warrants discussion, by all means lay it on me. Otherwise…maybe we should just jump to the weather!

Kisses

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    Comments

    1. Kristin says

      June 18, 2009 at 2:14 am

      Dear Modern Mom’s familia, thanks for the laughs!

    2. Suzy says

      June 17, 2009 at 6:05 pm

      Cut your grandma some slack. Complaining about body parts is going to be your job one day!

    3. Joshua says

      June 16, 2009 at 10:56 pm

      I’d love to see the letters you probably wanted to post but didn’t in case your family read them šŸ™‚

    4. Stacie's Madness says

      June 16, 2009 at 9:04 pm

      teeeheee these are great.

    5. SC says

      June 16, 2009 at 7:50 pm

      Just stumbled upon your blog from LouLou’s Views!

      I love this post…! I have a few passive aggressive entries I would like to a few people in my life, but fear they are readers so I keep my mouth shut! LOL!

      Thanks for sharing this!!

    6. Mrs. Fish: aka Two Fish says

      June 16, 2009 at 7:36 pm

      LMAO you are hysterical!! I love the letters we never intend to send. I love the granny one….why is it we ask and get a newspaper full of their day! Move it…definitely applies to my son, he is king of putzing!

    7. MamaJoss says

      June 16, 2009 at 5:17 am

      Some bizarre magnetic force repels my husband’s under garments just outside the laundry basket too!! weird.

      Great post…too funny!

    8. Caroline says

      June 16, 2009 at 5:04 am

      OK…I think I need to do that… esp. my MIL…God love her…I could be dead in the chair and she would keep on yapping…lol

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    Travel addict, sun seeker, coffee drinker, fashion lover, picture taker. This is a peek behind the closed and competitive doors of the suburbs. A place to come to learn about the best places to travel with your kids in Canada, the United States, the Caribbean and beyond! stephanie@sassymodernmom.com
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