Why is it that every time I turn on my laptop there is some sweet little article ready to lecture me on the reasons I’m failing miserably at losing those last couple of pounds?
It screams…Read me…I have the secret..I know the reasons you can’t lost weight.
The Internet, the magazines even the television is mocking me.
Some of the wise ones ideas go a little like this:
1. You are not getting enough sleep
2. You don’t need to lose any weight, you are at your ideal weight
3. You have reached a plateau
4. You need to exercise more
5. You are eating the wrong things
6. You have not given yourself enough time to lose the weight
7. Your goals are unrealistic
8. You eat too fast
9. Your kitchen should be closed after 8pm
10.You need to squeeze in a workout during your lunch hour
Huh. Can we get real for a minute? I don’t think these grand and glorious oh so general ideas on these neat and tidy “fix it” lists can apply to your average Momma in Suburbia.
Here are my well thought out excuses…er I mean rebuttals:
1. It is true, I don’t get enough sleep, but Hello! Moms never get enough sleep.
2. The theory that I’m not losing any more weight because I don’t need to is well, crap. If I don’t need to lose any weight then what is this wee muffin top hanging over the top of my jeans? It was NOT there a couple of months ago.
3. I have not reached a plateau. This ModernMom does not believe in plateaus…I only had 10 pounds to lose..I’m not stopping at pound number 8.
4. Yes, Okay..everybody needs to exercise more. Who wants to loan me a personal trainer and extend the day to 25 hours.
5. So chocolate is one of the wrong things to eat, but it is a staple in my life and vital to my emotional well being. It stays.
6. I have not given myself enough time to lose “the weight”. I don’t have any more time. Summers in Canada are short. It starts in like a week and will be over in about 90 days.
7. My goals are not unrealistic. I’m not asking to be 19 again or walk the catwalk. I know eating well is not going to reverse the aging process, I just want to look hot in at least one pair of jeans.
8. I’m eating too fast? Yes. Every Mother eats too fast. If you don’t eat fast..you don’t eat.
9. Close my kitchen? Seriously? 8pm is when I start my last load of laundry, make those lunches, fill out field trip forms. My day is not nearly over! Many a night Hubby and I don’t get dinner until way way after 8pm. Are we to skip this meal?
10. I’m sorry, squeeze in a workout during my lunch hour? I don’t have a lunch hour. Sometimes I don’t have a lunch! Sometimes my lunch is what ever the kids didn’t finish on their plates!
So why am I not losing the weight. Well I am, but frankly I could do without all the nagging. Every woman I know is working to be a better version of themselves. The reminders with the size 0 models talking about the benefits of “their” diet being the only one, and the before and after pictures with no touch ups at all..enough already.
Can we have some realism please?
Life is tough, emotional eating happens, weight goes up and down, and beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
Jenny Craig Weight Watchers Herbal One Special K Hoddi South Beach and Oprah! Back off.
Time to be healthy and happy with who we are. That IS what we preach to our children!
Cheers to all the women out there.
Now excuse me..there is some chocolate frosting in my fridge calling my name!
Can I add no. 11 onto that list which is:
The very large glass of red wine (sometimes two) that a mum turns to when she’s had to be peeled off the ceiling. This is normally due to a Small Child who has the ability to make her chew her own arm off out of sheer frustration! Do you think Elle Mcpherson or SJP get this problem or do they have perfect kids to go with their perfect figures? x
Haha.. great post. I agree- it’s better to eat healthy, get in exercise when we can (run errands? housework? chase kids? sounds like exercise to me..), and be a bit more positive about our bodies. I am teaching myself to like salad. It’s a struggle. I get halfway through the bowl, and get bored. I’m still working on it. But it is a step in the right direction.
btw- the crazy, neurotic weight loss thing I do? I keep my bathroom scale in the kitchen, to remind me to be on good behavior. Except I usually forget it is there, and eat whatever anyhow.. 😉
I totally agree with Vegas Linda Lou – I have like a…cake top or something, mine is so large. I know what you mean, though, about being accosted with all these stories – I was just on MSNBC’s home page, and there’s like 3 of them – one of them that even implies that exercise is garbage, and that without drastically changing your diet, you’ll never lose weight! Yikes. Haven’t they found some magic pill for this yet???
I agree. The magazines, internet, and T.V make it sound so easy. If you just do A, B, and C, then D will happen. But we busy moms know that A, B, and C, rarely happen in that order if at all some days. I DOUBLE agree on the chocolate issue as well. All I have to say is chocolate frosting on a graham cracker is a beautiful thing 🙂
LOL! I’m high-fiving you through my computer screen! 😉
Amen!
I think I’ve given up losing any more weight.
Plus, I like food too much. Oh well.
Thank you!
I swear, some days by 8 pm I realize the only thing I’ve eaten all day are PB&J crusts and I’m STARVING!
Great post, yes, You are Perfect just the way you are!
I have a hot fudge brownie ala mode with my name on it downstairs. If a little junk in the trunk is good for Fergie and Oprah, it’s good for us.
Thanks, MM.
Just in case you are interested, my dear friend has a blog, Eating the Angel Way, cool stuff. So not nagging.
http://eatingtheangelway.blogspot.com/
haha thanks 🙂 I tend to get all “Richard Simmons” on people when it comes to this topic, lol, so i feel the need to apologize 🙂
Oh, I know. Somedays I feel I should be happy with myself and other days I can’t be. I agree that exercise is the key. It’s always been what’s help me stay in shape, but as I get older it’s gets harder. Oh, what to do, what to do?
Heather! No hate..just love. You go girl:)
I agree that most things you see on the internet are “fad” diets or trends. There is no secret, it’s just burn more calories than you take in. Exercise, exercise, exercise! I’m an exercise and sports Iscience major in school…you hit a sensitive spot !! #4..there is ALWAYS time for exercise! Always! not an excuse! LOL! If i can find time to train for a marathon while working 30 hours a week, going to college full time, taking care of two babies and my household, ANYONE can squeeze in an hour of exercise TV or 30 minutes of walking/running/eliptical/whatever. I agree we do need to preach to our children about being healthy and happy with ourselves…but we need to lead by example!
(stepping off my soapbox) don’t hate me 🙂
Sigh.
I wish I was “thin” so much that I had surgery to halve the size of my stomach. So far, it’s worked a bit, it’s still pretty new. But I agree, diets only work in the short term and we all need to cut ourselves a break and fcus on being healthy rather than being “thin”.
This made me laugh!!! Thanks. I needed that little bit of motivation and the reminders of things that DO actually help/make a difference in weight loss.
Good luck to you!!!!
You have a “wee” muffin top? I’m jealous–mine is freakin’ blooming.