What I Know About Marriage

Sixteen years ago today, with the help of family and friends, I dodged the fat warm rain, laughing, excited and perhaps a bit anxious, wanting to make it into the church without ruining my perfect super poufy late nineties hair.

StephWeddingRain

Sixteen years of marriage….I am truly happy, somewhat lucky and honestly exactly where I am supposed to be. 

We have a favourite song, a favourite restaurant, and favourite day of the week.  We have favourite places to run away to, and a growing list of places that we dream of going.  We laugh and tease far more then we disagree.  Fight? There is a pretty good foot stomper once a year.  It’s an annual event that almost always coincides with our yearly BBQ Fiesta!  Tradition!  We both love and treasure our girls above all else.  We are lucky and we know it….but here is what I have learned….

Marriage is compromise.  It is give, and it is take.  As long as you give as good as you get you have a chance of going to bed with a big old smile on your face every single night. 

It is work, work of the very best kind, but make no mistake, a “good” marriage doesn’t just happen.  You have to pay attention to that person you promised to spend the rest of your life with.  Check in on them, care for them and treasure the love and the life that you are building.  Make sure you keep dreaming together.  Try not to get lost in the many strains and stresses of the every day. 

If you are very lucky, marriage is building each other up, supporting and cheering each other in all things.  Realistically there is also some snapping, some whining and groaning.  A few bumps in the road.  Anyone who tells you they have perfection in their marriage is a big fat liar.  Life is messy, life is not perfect and neither is marriage, the trick….enjoy the mess. 

Marriage can be romance and flowers, but it is also taking the garbage out, changing diapers, paying the bills, doing the dishes and putting up with his snoring.  It helps if you can find a way to occasionally dance while you clean, tickle when you fight and for goodness sake, get a good pair of ear plugs! 

It may be hard, but you must find a way to forgive when you feel wronged, and to apologise when it’s called for.

Marriage is finding comfort in the knowledge that you are two against the world and giving thanks every day for finding a partner to tackle this crazy and sometimes scary place. 

Marriage is dreaming together, growing together, and always finding reasons to celebrate.  It’s not just remembering why it was you fell in love in the first place, but continuing to fall in love every single day.  

It’s knowing you are in the right place,

and relishing in the fact that the best is still yet to come. 

OurWeddingDay

Happy 16th Anniversary.



Comments

  1. Happy Anniversary!

    Wishing you many more year of happiness!

  2. happy anniversary you two…love the wisdom you have gleened and agree….marriage is def work but the more you work at it the greater the dividends…smiles.

  3. Happy Anniversary I loved this post it is so full of truth and reality. I have been married 33 yrs. coming up and you are right on all accounts. Many more my dear you are doing a great job. My heart still skips a beat when he walks into the room he say the same. We are lucky but it is work too. Nothing in life worth having is free. B

  4. What a beautiful post.

    Happy 16th Anniversary! Wishing you many more of those!

    p.s. Beautiful couple you make

  5. You are so smart….and honest. Love this.
    Happy anniversary to you both!
    xoxo

  6. Happy anniversary! You made beautiful bride. 🙂

  7. Happy Anniversary!

    Cheers to many many more!

    And I LOVE the wedding pictures!

  8. Congratulations! Hope you’ll have many more happpy years together!

  9. Happy Anniversary! I think it was a rainy week – we are also celebrating our 16th (on the 8th) and it rained every minute of it – good luck, I was told!

  10. Happy Anniversary! I think it was a rainy week – we are also celebrating our 16th (on the 8th) and it rained every minute of it – good luck, I was told!

  11. Happy Anniversary! I think it was a rainy week – we are also celebrating our 16th (on the 8th) and it rained every minute of it – good luck, I was told!

  12. Happy Anniversary! I think it was a rainy week – we are also celebrating our 16th (on the 8th) and it rained every minute of it – good luck, I was told!

  13. Happy Anniversary! Yes, earplugs are a good thing! 🙂

  14. Congrats!! 16 years is wonderful! XOXO

  15. Yay! Our 12th is coming up this Fall. I love being married to my husband. We laugh together.

  16. Happy Anniversary! Hope you have a wonderful weekend celebrating!

  17. Happy Anniversary!

  18. Awwww. Too wonderful.

  19. This is beautiful, and so are you!

    Happy Anniversary!

  20. Awww. What a wonderful post S! Happy Anniversary!! <3 <3

  21. Adorable pictures. And I like your hair; those curly tendrils alongside your face. You must have had the best hair spray to keep them from dying. 🙂

    Happy Anniversary!

    If you can continue to give advice as you’ve done here, there will be endless anniversaries for the two of you.

  22. Happy Anniversary! You were a beautiful bride and he was a ‘hunk’. Good for you guys! I wish you many, many happy aniversaries. We just had ours-13 years! It is a great post and so true. I agree with you 100%! Compromise is the key word (after love) but from both sides. Newer couples are so uncompromising and absolute and egocentric. Wrong! If somethings breaks we have to try to fix it not throw it away. That’s what will make us stronger and bring us even closer!

  23. Happy Anniversary my new Blog Friend! Wishing you many many more years of love and happiness! xoxo

  24. Happy anniversary! Great post! You described marriage so well…I couldn’t agree more!

  25. Happy anniversary to a beautiful couple!

  26. Happy Anniversary

  27. Happy anniversary! Great post and so true! You are not only beautiful, you are smart! Enjoy your weekend!

  28. Happy anniversary!! ♥

  29. We’ve just had our fourth anniversary – congratulations on 16 years! 🙂

  30. happy Anniversary! We celebrate our anniversary on the 7th as well. Though we never actually tied the knot. 😉 Sept 7th was our first kiss. <3

  31. This is probably by far the best anniversary post I’ve seen in quite awhile! I must admit, too: I’m a wee bit teary eyed ^.^

    This is such a beautiful tribute to your husband and a marriage of 16 years. Congratulations to you both for making it work 🙂

    I will definitely take these words to heart and use them for the time I eventually get married!

    Happy Anniversary 🙂

  32. Such a beautiful post – Happy Anniversary!

  33. Awww happy anniversary!!!!!!! I can see your blog 🙂

  34. Happy Anniversary. Great words on how to make a good marriage. We will be celebrating 15 years later this year…sheesh, how did that happen??

  35. Happy Anniversary!

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