Dear Grocery Clerk
So you have switched to “bring your own bags” at this great grocery giant. I love the environment. I have no problem with that. I bought my reusable bags a long long time ago. Even got one of those nifty bins for hauling groceries. But here is a tip. Just because those industrial strength bags and bins can hold 50lbs of groceries each…DOESN’T MEAN I CAN LIFT THEM!!
Dear Gas Station Attendant
If when you pump my gas for me, which I do appreciate even though I have paid a premium so I don’t stink like gasoline for the remainder of the day, and you then spill that liquid gold down the side of my brand new car….please take one moment and wipe it off. Stinky smelly stain. UG
Dear Fellow Parent
I’m glad you enjoyed the field trip today. It is nice when we can take the kids out to see the experts in action. Could you please remember that THEY are the experts. To tell you the truth, nobody really wanted to hear your account of the caterpillars that fell on your head in South Carolina, when you think that tree will grow a new set of leaves, or why you think the dams in this area are superior to the ones further north. YOU are not the expert. Thanks Cliff Clavin but move along.
I’m sorry to hear you have had a busy night. We did make a reservation for dinner 3 weeks ago for 6pm for 4. Yes that is my name right there. I understand you could be a little behind 15 minutes, maybe 20? Half an hour is too much. In the words of the great Jerry Seinfeld: You can take the reservation, clearly your problem is KEEPING the reservation.
Dear Pool Guy
(yes again with the pool guy)
Please. Put your shirt on.