Designer Dress Equals Dancing Disaster!

My name is Stephanie and I am a shopping addict. 

Full disclosure:  I am not capable of walking by a quality sale without whipping out my credit card and taking full advantage of the deal! So this past week, as I was taking my BlueEyed girl to a pool party, I found myself physically drawn into a nearby store.  I HAD to go in, the little boutique was screaming at me to get my butt in there!  I mean, there were 70% off signs everywhere and I had a gift card to use up.  When you use my SassyMama math this means the stuff was practically free! 

I tried to keep expectations low.  I’ve been down this road before.  The big old sign to draw you in, only to lead to massive disappointment because only the “crap” is discounted, or worse, it was the sale of the century and now everything is gone except the stupid size zeros.  I’m pretty sure I never wore a size zero.  Pft. 

As I entered the store, daughter in tow, my heart started to race.  Ohh I saw some nice stuff.  All kinds of pretty, this was going to get expensive.  In need of a dress for an upcoming wedding, I dove into the sales racks, the sales girls already nipping at my heels trying to help me.  I waved them away.  I was in the zone.  I pulled two dresses.  Both in my size?  Both, gulp, 40, no 50, up to 70% off!  No way were these babies going to fit.  Too good to be true.

I tried on dress one.  It fit!  Squee!

I tried on dress two.  It freakin fit, and I loved it!?  Oh my word.

Picture via Dennis Merotto

A  Dennis Merotto dress I loved, my fashion forward daughter approved of, and it was  almost 70% off?  (add the gift card, do a little creative math in my head…) CHARGE it!

As I casually walked away, I started to giggle to myself about the amazing deal I had just scored.  Then decided to do a little, oh so graceful and not at all embarrassing, victory dance!  That’s when it happened.  I tripped like a fool over some stupid ass curb.  Wrenched my knee, turned my ankle and stubbed my toe.  LOSER.  Victory dance gone wrong.  Humiliation setting in.  Must pretend it did not hurt.  Just keep limping forward.  Concentrated on the amazing dress, forget the pain! Do the funny math, concentrate on the dress. 

The moral of the story, if you find an amazing designer dress at a wicked discount, at least wait until you are back in the safety of your own home before you do a victory dance and embarrass the hell out yourself. 

Although gotta tell ya, the dress, it’s still worth the pain.  Still winning.