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How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Designer Dress Equals Dancing Disaster!

in Lifestyle on 07/25/14

My name is Stephanie and I am a shopping addict. 

Full disclosure:  I am not capable of walking by a quality sale without whipping out my credit card and taking full advantage of the deal! So this past week, as I was taking my BlueEyed girl to a pool party, I found myself physically drawn into a nearby store.  I HAD to go in, the little boutique was screaming at me to get my butt in there!  I mean, there were 70% off signs everywhere and I had a gift card to use up.  When you use my SassyMama math this means the stuff was practically free! 

I tried to keep expectations low.  I’ve been down this road before.  The big old sign to draw you in, only to lead to massive disappointment because only the “crap” is discounted, or worse, it was the sale of the century and now everything is gone except the stupid size zeros.  I’m pretty sure I never wore a size zero.  Pft. 

As I entered the store, daughter in tow, my heart started to race.  Ohh I saw some nice stuff.  All kinds of pretty, this was going to get expensive.  In need of a dress for an upcoming wedding, I dove into the sales racks, the sales girls already nipping at my heels trying to help me.  I waved them away.  I was in the zone.  I pulled two dresses.  Both in my size?  Both, gulp, 40, no 50, up to 70% off!  No way were these babies going to fit.  Too good to be true.

I tried on dress one.  It fit!  Squee!

I tried on dress two.  It freakin fit, and I loved it!?  Oh my word.

Dennismerotto

Picture via Dennis Merotto

A  Dennis Merotto dress I loved, my fashion forward daughter approved of, and it was  almost 70% off?  (add the gift card, do a little creative math in my head…) CHARGE it!

As I casually walked away, I started to giggle to myself about the amazing deal I had just scored.  Then decided to do a little, oh so graceful and not at all embarrassing, victory dance!  That’s when it happened.  I tripped like a fool over some stupid ass curb.  Wrenched my knee, turned my ankle and stubbed my toe.  LOSER.  Victory dance gone wrong.  Humiliation setting in.  Must pretend it did not hurt.  Just keep limping forward.  Concentrated on the amazing dress, forget the pain! Do the funny math, concentrate on the dress. 

The moral of the story, if you find an amazing designer dress at a wicked discount, at least wait until you are back in the safety of your own home before you do a victory dance and embarrass the hell out yourself. 

Although gotta tell ya, the dress, it’s still worth the pain.  Still winning.

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    Comments

    1. Soozle says

      July 27, 2014 at 3:01 pm

      Haha great story 🙂 Thanks for the chuckle! … and the advice to keep the victory dances for solid ground 😉

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:38 pm

        You’re welcome, now be careful on your next shopping trip!

    2. Melinda L. says

      July 27, 2014 at 10:58 am

      Hey a designer dress is worth all the humilation and credit card charges 😉

      I know the feeling, I went dress shopping with a friend (she needed a dress for an upcoming wedding), and I ended up walking away with the most gorgeous dress.

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:37 pm

        I totally agree! And being a wingman on a shopping trip can be dangerous too! Your a good girlfriend to support your friend!

        • Melinda says

          July 28, 2014 at 8:59 am

          Hahaha, tell that to my poor wallet 😛 The 2 of us are shopaholics, which isn’t the best combination to begin with but hey that’s what girlfriends are for 🙂

    3. Chandra Christine O'Connor says

      July 26, 2014 at 3:39 pm

      how come this wasnt video taped? lol

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:34 pm

        LOL Then I might have been a youtube star!

    4. Darlene Schuller says

      July 26, 2014 at 8:09 am

      haha that my dear girl is a photo moment!! lol

      Good thing you only twisted it.. your next dilema would be.. do the crutches match my dress? lol

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:34 pm

        I was dangerously close to crutches!! Crisis averted, This time! 🙂

    5. Lynda Cook says

      July 25, 2014 at 8:44 pm

      I would of loved to have been there, it must of been quite the sight, hopefully there wasn’t to many around to see, sorry you hurt yourself, but at least you got a great deal!! and thanks for the great story!!

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:32 pm

        Just s couple of store clerks and my daughter as a witness to my embarrassment! You would have had to almost see it to appreciate it! 🙂

    6. Gigi says

      July 25, 2014 at 5:47 pm

      Totally sounds like something I would do! The dress is gorgeous!

      Hope your knee and ankle are feeling better.

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:30 pm

        Thank you Gigi! I’m thrilled with the dress, now as long as I can get my ankle into some fabulous shoes, I will be all set 🙂 LOL

    7. mrdisco says

      July 25, 2014 at 5:00 pm

      that was a fun story

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:30 pm

        Sometimes real life is better than fiction 🙂

    8. Deborah Pucci says

      July 25, 2014 at 2:33 pm

      This made me laugh! Glad you found the dress. I try not to go shopping because I have no self control but I did go to our Coldwater Creek to hit the last of their sale before they close.

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:29 pm

        Thanks Deb, hope you found some great deals at that Coldwater Creek sale!

    9. slamdunk says

      July 25, 2014 at 2:05 pm

      Looks like you are the big winner, Stephanie. Congrats!

      The Mrs. enjoys the hunt and the treasures that sales offer–definitely a trait that Americans and Canadians share.

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:28 pm

        I think if there is one trait many women have in common, it’s the thrill of a killer deal! 🙂

    10. La Cuisine d'Helene says

      July 25, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      Oh my I hope you feel so much better today. I love great deals like this one. I don’t like to pay full price for a dress. Have fun at the wedding with your new dress.

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:26 pm

        Thank you! Starting to finally feel better, and even though I truly hurt my ankle, I think these massive deal was worth it!

    11. Judy Cowan says

      July 25, 2014 at 1:34 pm

      Oops….lol! Hope your knee and ankle are feeling better!

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:25 pm

        Thanks Judy! My knee is finally starting to feel better today! Verdict. Worth it.

    12. Anne Taylor says

      July 25, 2014 at 12:59 pm

      lol you always make me giggle! Advice taken and happy dances only at home!

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:24 pm

        🙂 Just a PSA to save my favourite people the same humiliation!

    13. Chandra Christine O'Connor says

      July 25, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      ya well I got excited in a mall seeing a whole christmas section. I walked right in to the glass. I hit it so hard it flew me back not quietly either, big bang noise you could see my forehead print on glass. the mall was full!

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:23 pm

        Oh my dear girl how I wish I had been with you, you know, to cheer along with you 🙂 Hope your head didn’t hurt too much!

    14. Debbie Bashford says

      July 25, 2014 at 11:30 am

      trust me when you are klutzy like myself victory dancing at home can be quite dangerous as well not to self no dancing till all the bags are picked up off the floor!

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:22 pm

        LOL Duly noted! And thank you for letting me know I am not alone!

    15. JaimeeM says

      July 25, 2014 at 11:01 am

      Lol, lovely story with a great moral to it, haha. Always do the victory dance at home in secrecy… >.> I may or may not have done the same thing, but carrying glasses, which shattered.

      • Stephanie says

        July 27, 2014 at 8:21 pm

        Oh no!! Glasses that shattered? You poor thing! At least my dress survived my goofy dance 🙂

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    Travel addict, sun seeker, coffee drinker, fashion lover, picture taker. This is a peek behind the closed and competitive doors of the suburbs. A place to come to learn about the best places to travel with your kids in Canada, the United States, the Caribbean and beyond! stephanie@sassymodernmom.com
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