You’ve seen the articles in magazines at the check out, the catchy headlines on the net – everyone claims they have the best advice for how to strengthen, protect or even save your marriage. You know what you don’t see? STRONGLY worded advice, words to the idiots, common sense thoughts spelled out in black and white. Quite simply a bullet point list of little things to avoid – otherwise known as the best and fastest ways to destroy a marriage.
It should be noted: I’m not talking about the big time stuff like acquiring a drinking problem, gambling the family money away or stepping out on your spouse. Every person should be smart enough to know to avoid those pitfalls. I’m talking about the everyday little habits that will eventually drive your partner down the hall to the spare bedroom…. never to return again!
So here it goes, things not to do when you want to have a happy wife, happy life:
*Enough with the snoring already. A tired wife is a bitchy wife. He may say he can’t help it, I say, whatever. Learn to roll onto your side without me kicking you in the back. And if you get a kick in the back, take your lumps and roll over already. Another tip for the snoring Hubby, after you have gone drinking with the boys, drag your ass down the hall to the spare bedroom to sleep so I don’t have to! I can’t listen to that “boat motor/ chainsaw/ snarfling thing” ANYMORE.
*Put caps back on things. On toothpaste, on ketchup, on mayo. Caps. Back. On. Things.
*Close the cupboard doors. Why, like, just why would one ever leave a kitchen cupboard open? Huh?
*The bathroom. It may not be your “job” to tackle the dirtiest room in the house, but how did it become mine? Take a turn cleaning the toilet and the shower once in a while. We hate cleaning that crap up too.
*Laundry much? You know that basket looking thing in the bathroom? Guess what, it’s not for flowers, it’s for dirty clothes! Gasp.
*Dish Drama. While we’re at it, dishes go IN the dishwasher – not on top of the counter beside the dishwasher. Genius right?
*TP Forever. When the toilet paper runs out…please, put another roll on. At this point I don’t even care if the paper is going “the right way” I just don’t want to have to pick between drip dry and Glamour Magazine.
*Don’t’ make me fall for you….the hard way. When you come in the house your whole family is thrilled to see you. Even the diva cat comes to say hello. I’d be even happier to see you if you didn’t leave your shoes in the middle of the hall. Tripping on size 12 footwear is not fun. Just Saying.
In Defence of my SassyHubby, he brings me coffee without being asked, takes his turn waiting up for the girls to get home, and makes dinner more often then I do. I know I’m a lucky lucky girl…but I’m still allowed my list of grievances.
Sigh. It does feel better to get it off your chest helps! So go ahead, tell me, what’s on your list of grievances today? Maybe we can make a big old list for all the refrigerators in the Suburbs.
A great list that most of us know all about, snoring is one of the worst things, especially after drinking. I’d love for men to sit on the toilet and not stand aiming – strange how though women make the least mess we are supposed to be the ones cleaning up the drips from shaking!
I have to say that I do everything on your list on a regular bases except the dreaded bathroom. I know, I know, but I just cannot clean it. Once in a very long while I will clean the sinks but that’s where I draw the line. Gosh I sound sexist but I have to tell the truth. I do bring my wife coffee every morning though!
Agree!! The bathroom is such a big one. And it does beg the question of how did this become only the wife’s job? Taking turns is only fair!
This sounds like a good list of items that are common sense
Information that some married couples will have to hear and take action if they have to as well.
Great common sense tips