Not long ago I was invited to a girls weekend up at a cottage.
No Men. No Kids.
Just wine, and food and girly stuff.
Sounds great right?
Well perfectly wonderful until you figure out you, well you ….are a bit lost.
A couple of days before I was supposed to leave for this blissful weekend…I started to feel…unwell?
(now truth be told I also had a migraine I could not shake and some lingering back issues blah blah blah…but this was on top of that regular fun stuff) This was different…
A strange tightening in my chest, a bit of head spinning, nightmares. What was going on? Was this a heart attack or had I developed some crazy kind of anxiety issue? Dr. Google was no help at all. My SassyHubby was right, I should never search “symptoms” of any kind on the net.
I think I was just starting to panic at the sheer volume of things I had to get done before I could take off for my care free 24 hours. Wait, “care free for 24 hours“. What is that? Apparently it’s a real thing. What did I have to do in order to get to that mystical unknown place?
- make sure there were groceries in the fridge
- throw a load of towels in the wash
- pick up dog food
- was there clean clothes for the kids. I know they are old enough to do their own, but stress doesn’t know logic
- clean up the house, although I don’t know why I would bother because we all know it won’t be clean by the time I get home.
- book hotel for upcoming family trip
- pick up supplies to make cupcakes Monday night
- put gas in the car
- get my nails done
- was my hair okay
- what would I wear?
- what bag would I take
- shouldn’t I take food too?
….the list went on and on and showed no sign of slowing.
After going over my never ending list of “to do’s” I finally realized something…it had been an awfully long time since I just took some time for me. It had been even longer since I took some real time with girlfriends.
That’s when I figured out what that crushing, anxious, sick feeling was. Did I remember how to do this? Did I still know how to kick back and be ME? Not professional me, not the Mommy, not wife me…just Steph.
Deep breath and a bottle of wine. It was time to just do it. No “to do” list, anxiety feeling, don’t have anything to wear was going to stop me now. I put on my big girl panties, and I went. And you know what? I loved it.
I laughed, I cried, I rejoiced with friends and I sang in the car all the way home. The best part. I came home tired but refreshed, energized, happy and swearing I wouldn’t wait that long to do it all again. So thankful to realize I hadn’t lost me, I’d just forgotten where I’d put myself for a while.
Three cheers for friends old and new; and a question: When was the last time you did something just for you?
My kids are grown now,so it’s much easier to get away for some “me time.” There’s still the huge to-do list before I go and another as soon as I get back, but it’s worth it to spend some time being me and strengthening friendships.
I never do anything for me , it always about the kids and the Grand kids , i def need a weekend away for just me 🙂 thanks for sharing !
Sometimes it is harder to shut off your brain than anything else. And a weekend away with the girls is perfect for that.
We try to do a girls night once every few months. It is great to get out and do something for myself.
I used to premake casseroles for family when I had to go help my MIL. I’d make enough to last but they would still call me saying they had nothing to eat!
I’m glad you had a good time. I remember the first time I flew home to see my family and left mine behind. Two teenagers and my husband. I was very anxious to leave them for two weeks, but it was the first time I left my children. I had such a great two weeks.
Gosh – your prep for vacation list sounds so familiar! Except, I don’t get my nails done. 🙂
I hope you’ll begin the planning of your next getaway now. And you’ve inspired me to plan mine!
Im glad to hear you had a (much needed!) getaway for the weekend!
I have to say – I have caught myself doing the same thing. I am too focused on what I need to do verses what I SHOULD be doing for my own sanity/happiness/wellbeing.. It’s hard to let go sometimes, but it’s so needed!
Seems once them little blessings come along we totally forget what life was like before them… it’s nice to escape to that place every now and then.
This resonated with me right to the core. I think once you become a Mother it’s so easy to give up on all your own things and put those babies first. It’s easy to lose yourself. Thanks for posting this Stephanie.
Oh Samantha, you are welcome. I know it’s hard to make time for yourself. Especially if your kids are little? Hope you get some time for you soon!
Me time….what is that? I honestly can’t remember the last time I did something for me, it is always making sure everyone else is looked after. Glad you had a good time!
LOL I know, me time is a tough commodity to get your hands on. But let me tell you, that bit of Me time made me a better Mama and Wife. I felt like a new woman 🙂
It great to reboot,now that the kids have left the nest and we are older folks we don’t neetd to reboot so much just enjoy each other.
You give me hope for the future. As much as I “fear” the empty nest. (I’m going to miss these kids like crazy) It will be wonderful to have some more me time without the Mama guilt.
It’s so important to take time for ourselves without all the other stressful things. A couple of weeks ago I spent time with some old friends of mine and it was very refreshing and enjoyable.
I love to hear that. I know I need to get better at doing those girls nights more often! It does leave you feeling so refreshed, happy, ready to take on the world.
Now that I’m closer to family, I am busier then I have ever been, before I barely went outside, and if I didn’t I had to force myself to go.
Do you find when your force yourself to go outside you feel better? I do. I know it can be hard. Hugs to you!
So glad you had fun. With all my friends having kids, we haven’t had a proper girls night for probably over 3 years. Long overdue!
Those girls nights are impossible to organize now! When my kiddos were babies I was great at doing baby play dates, coffee, etc. Now? I find it so much harder. So glad I made time for my “girls” and hope you do the same soon.