How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Five Stupid Things Girls Will Do

in Everyday on

I am now over 40, gulp.  In these forty years I’ve done some really dumb things.  Locked myself out of the house.  Classic.  Purchased clothes I really didn’t like because some salesgirl on commission told me I looked HAWT in them. Gullible.  Used lip liner as eyeliner and confused air freshener for breath spray…but that’s a whole different story.  I’d like to think I’ve learned from my mistakes and won’t repeat them, but there are still a few situations where this girl is still getting her blonde on:

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The Five Stupid Things This Girl Will Do To Feel Good About Herself

1.  Tie my hair back into a really tight pony for that fresh from the plastic surgeon I don’t have any wrinkles look.  Plus I look younger, right???

2. Refuse to step on the scale.  If I don’t see or acknowledge how bad that number is then I don’t have to deal with it!

3.  Wear a really bright lipstick to distract from the fact that I have a mountain of a zit growing out of my face.  (Then lie to myself that this actually works)

4. Blamed the GPS for getting me lost.  Sure, it may have told me to turn the wrong way down a one way street but shouldn’t I have known at that point that the damn thing was not to be trusted?

5. Indulge in retail therapy by buying some fabulous new shoes I don’t need.  Why?  My feet are the one and only part of my body that never betrays me.  My waist may turn on me when I’ve been binging on ice cream and potato chips every night for two weeks, but my feet will always keep my dirty little secrets.  This needs to be rewarded.  Always.

Sadly, this might just be the tip of the iceberg.  Confession: It feels good to get it off my chest!  What stupid thing have you done just to get through the day?  Go ahead, spill, your secret is safe with me!

    • Comments

    3. I actually think that your list of things aren’t stupid at all! Maybe I just think that to save my own face…

    5. I absolutely loved this! Particularly the shoes – yes, the feet don’t betray you the way your waist will! I’ve also found that handbags and accessories always fit too!

    7. Oooh.. oooh.. I am torn.. to share and dash your delusions.. or not to share…

      I get number 5. I really do, but guess what. Sometimes *even* the feet of an over *gasp* forty seek to betray. Wahh! :'(

      I can’t even “Oh! I’ll just go buy shoes!” anymore. *sigh*

    9. I agree with #2 and #4, guilty here..I will eat dark chocolate and tell my hubby it’s diet chocolate.

    10. Haha, I can relate to 4 and 5!

      Also – When we’re mad, insist we’re “fine” and then get madder when they don’t realize “fine” means we’re mad. lol.

    11. lol <3 Yes, we girls don't take to 'aging' very well.. just turned 43 myself in November.. *ouch*

    14. I so agree with nr. 5.

      I have also been known to stuff my face with cookies on a Sunday night cause, you know, I’m going to be good as of Monday … and then Monday comes and goes.

    15. I tell the delivery guy Im sick when he comes in the middle of the day and Im still in my jammies lol