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How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Facebook Posts I Never Want To See Again

in Everyday on 02/12/14

My name is Stephanie and I love me some Facebook.  I flip over to it often obsessively throughout the day liking post after post.  Smiling, grinning and even occasionally laughing out loud.  Now I know not all Facebook status updates are fuzzy and warm.  I enjoy the snarky and the sassy, even the occasional sarcastic or braggy post, but there are some Facebook posts that I have quite simply had enough of and beg of you to never, ever post again.

#1.  The Over sharer: “Oh I am so sick I was up puking all night.  It was coming out both ends!”  TMI people!  If you want to post you are sick, go for it. Even use that silly little green face to really get your point across but enough with the descriptors of how many times you puked and what colour it was.  Disgusting.

#2. The Compliment Whore: “Gawd I just hate this picture of myself.” or “Looking a little rough, but oh well”.” LIAR!  Nobody every puts up pictures they truly hate of themselves.  That would be just stupid.  You are not stupid are you?  SassyModernMomProfile

Hmm maybe I need to rethink this one. SassyNot

#3 The Vague Booker: “I have such exciting news I’m bursting.  Oh, but I can’t tell you until tomorrow.”  Then how about you just wait until tomorrow to tell us huh?  How about that idea? Vague booking is so 2013.

#4 The Extreme Bragger: “Can’t believe I was just offered ANOTHER trip.  Oh how to fit it all in?”  Really, is this the kind of bragging you want to put out into the world?  I think you can be proud, excited and gracious at the same time.  Some people could do with working on a little balance.

* Flip side.  Brag much?  Yup. I get it, sometimes you do have to shout it from the rooftops, but can we please try and balance it out with a cute story about your kid, a personal goal you are working towards or how you paid it forward this week?  Thanks.

#5 The Super Curser: I get it, every once in a while a girl has got to drop the F Bomb, but when you are cursing a blue streak in your Facebook Status updates, I am hitting unfriend.  Related: I am a prude.

End of Facebook rant, for now?  Have any you want to add?

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    Comments

    1. Melinda L. says

      February 13, 2014 at 2:05 pm

      Nope nothing to add. Everything you have listed so far is so true….I am so guilty of doing all that. I am trying to cut back on what I post/do on Facebook. Now if I can just get some of my friends to stop doing that….

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:21 pm

        The best thing of all about facebook is that it is entirely yours! Your space, your wall and you can post whatever the heck you please, so feel free to tell the rest of us to SHUSH 🙂

        • Melinda L. says

          February 14, 2014 at 1:49 pm

          LOL, I like the way you think Stephanie! I do try to be considerate though since that is in my nature….somewhat, but with the occasional brag/dramatic moment to keep them “entertained” =P

    2. Jo says

      February 13, 2014 at 12:11 pm

      Yes to all of them and then I would like to add the over the top drama queen who always always always (see what I did there) is ranting and raving about something that has befallen her, again. Jeez woman, can’t you just sometimes be happy and quiet?

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:17 pm

        Oh the super sad poster! Yup! I forgot about them! They need to get out and talk to some real friends!

    3. Kelly says

      February 13, 2014 at 5:04 am

      Two additional pet peeves here…
      1. Improper use of the English language. (spelling and grammar)
      2. Please stop posting pictures of your food. If I want to see pictures of food I’ll look at a menu

      Phew, that feels good to get it off my chest!?

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:17 pm

        The food pics! LOL I don’t mind when it’s a special meal, an anniversary? A lobster dinner, a huge ice sculpture. You know, something out of the norm, but do I have to see every bite that enters ever facebook friends mouth? No Mam! I’m with you. Enough!

    4. Busy Bee Suz says

      February 13, 2014 at 3:29 am

      Oh my gosh. I love this.
      I have so many issues with Facebook. (but I do love it too) …the over sharers. The people who want to SHARE EVERY THOUGHT THEY’VE EVER HAD?!?! Geeze. Give it a break.
      I’m an ‘original’ girl. I only share thoughts of my own….I never copy/ paste quotes, pics, thoughts of others. So…you can imagine how others annoy me.
      XO

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:15 pm

        How did I forget about the constant updaters!! I really don’t need to know every thought that goes trough each and every person’s head that I know, and every bite of food they put in their mouths. Enough already! 🙂

    5. loucheryl says

      February 13, 2014 at 2:30 am

      LOVE this and agree with you on all counts!

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:13 pm

        🙂 Thanks. I have all these complaints about Facebook and yet I keep going back!

    6. Heidi C. says

      February 13, 2014 at 1:48 am

      Very funny post! I hope that I don’t fall into any of those categories.

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:12 pm

        LOL I wouldn’t worry, I think if you did fall into any of these categories you would know it!

    7. Chandra O'Connor says

      February 12, 2014 at 11:31 pm

      I’ll never stop bragging

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:11 pm

        No worries, I do think a little bit of bragging is good for the soul 🙂

    8. AlwaysARedhead says

      February 12, 2014 at 11:08 pm

      You covered it. The trip one bothers me the most.

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:11 pm

        I wonder how many people will block me after this post! LOL

    9. Judy Cowan says

      February 12, 2014 at 11:00 pm

      I think you got it covered!! I think I saw at least one of each of those statuses today on my feed…lol

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:11 pm

        I know I saw at least 4 of these already today 🙂

    10. Jennifer says

      February 12, 2014 at 10:43 pm

      yup that should cover it! lol

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:10 pm

        It really felt good to get this off my chest! LOL

    11. Gigi says

      February 12, 2014 at 8:28 pm

      Those reasons and many others are why I am rarely on Facebook.

      But one of the biggest peeves? Seeing adults use “teenspeak” (chillaxin – comes to mind). Drives me MAD!

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:07 pm

        How did I forget that one!! I mean, I use that tactic myself to bother my own teen! LOL

    12. Joey says

      February 12, 2014 at 6:23 pm

      I think the phrase “had both ends going” should be removed from use by all persons that want to have friends/interact with other humans. When did it become okay to say that???

      I have most of my Facebook friends hidden from my news feed. I think that’s how an anti-social person is able to cope with social media. I’m aware of the irony.

    13. Teri M. says

      February 12, 2014 at 6:18 pm

      I end up blocking a lot of those types of posts from people, especially if they happen A LOT. Sometimes I think I could do without having FB at all…..

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:06 pm

        The block is a wonderful thing!

    14. ~she~ says

      February 12, 2014 at 3:16 pm

      I have quit opening up Facebook altogether. I’m sicker than sick-coming-out-of-both-ends of the drama. I still have the app on my phone, in case I need to contact someone and to update my business page.

      My biggest pet peeve right now, other than the extreme bragger you mentioned, is the one who constantly talks about how awesome their weather is. A family we know recently moved from this frozen tundra to San Antonio, Texas. They feel the need to post (on a regular basis) that their weather is in the 70s and 80s. Yes, they know it’s -12 here and we’re all freezing. So, what’s their point? We know it’s warm there, but we’ve all chosen to stay here with our friends, family, jobs, and hobbies. Hope y’all are having a grand time there all by your lonesome selves. Don’t get lonely now…ye hear???

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:05 pm

        LOL I don’t mind hearing about the weather maybe because I long for sunshine so badly, however if I was in your shoes..I might be inviting myself down for a free stay! LOL

    15. Darlene Schuller says

      February 12, 2014 at 3:05 pm

      lmao well.. I think you’ve about covered it for me!! lol

      • Stephanie says

        February 13, 2014 at 7:04 pm

        You’re welcome “)

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    Travel addict, sun seeker, coffee drinker, fashion lover, picture taker. This is a peek behind the closed and competitive doors of the suburbs. A place to come to learn about the best places to travel with your kids in Canada, the United States, the Caribbean and beyond! stephanie@sassymodernmom.com
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