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How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Crazy Things I Do When I Think No One is Looking

in Everyday on 09/19/13

A while back I stumbled across a post that inspired me.  The Fitness Cheerleader said it all in one little title, we all do things that are a wee bit nuts, but only when we think no one is looking!  I’ve decided being a little bit nuts makes life just that much more interesting.  Perhaps sharing my list of crazy will make me just a little less embarrassed the next time I get caught acting the fool! 

Here is my list of crazy:

1) I do a lot of driving.  A lot of carpooling.  It’s just part of the gig.  As soon as I drop my charges off at their friends and /or extra curricular the first thing I do?  Change the radio station from the Top 20 channel to country.  Oh yes I do.  Turns out Country Music is my dirty little secret.  I lurv me a song about a heartbroken man and ticked off chic’s. 

2) It gets worse.  During all that carpooling I spend a lot of time alone in that car.  Apparently this turns me into a superstar.  I’m driving and singing.  Very loudly.  (but only when’s it’s dark and no one can see me or hopefully hear me)  This is also when I practice my duck face.  (Having a quality Duck Face makes your teenage daughter crazy.  This is a very good thing)

DuckFace

3) When I’m sure no one is looking, I have been known to sneak in a game of Candy Crush, like under the covers of my bed so my kids won’t catch me if they happen to get up and pee.  I. Am. Addicted.  I can’t stop. 

4) Eat chocolate.  Oh now wait, I do eat chocolate when people are looking and I am so not ashamed of it.  The crazy thing I do when no one is looking?  Get that chocolate out of my secret stash!  Don’t judge; you can’t survive the suburbs without a secret stash of chocolate of your own.  Try it, you will thank me.

5) I am addicted to my iPhone.  I think most people check their phones more often than they should, but how many people do you know who tweet, facebook and candy crush it up only stopping when they are so tired that they actually drop said phone squarely on their faces? 

6) I talk to my cat.  I am a 43 year old woman who has full on conversations with her cat.  I miss my dog, it didn’t seem so strange to talk to the dog.

7) When I’m trying on clothes in a change room I always keep my back to the mirror and suck in my gut.  I’m convinced some of those mirrors are two ways and some freak on the other side is watching and can see me.  I wouldn’t want them to see “things” all hanging out and unattractive, so I turn my boobs to the wall and suck it in.  What, it’s logical. 

8) I’ve been known to eat an entire container of Hagen Das Ice Cream in one sitting and then hide the evidence.  I don’t share the really good ice cream.  I’m such a good Mom.

9) When I’m home  alone and it’s really late, I’ve been known to watch a shameful amount of the worst reality TV known to man.  Do you know how many variety’s’ of the “Real Housewives” there are?  Me either, with all that plastic surgery, they all look the same.   It’s kind of disgusting. 

Now it’s your turn, what crazy things do you do when you think no one is looking?

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    Comments

    1. Cheryl (@loucheryl) says

      October 23, 2013 at 11:14 pm

      If those things make you crazy then I’m just as crazy as you! 😉

    2. Victoria Ess says

      October 16, 2013 at 12:20 am

      Love this list and I think I do almost every single one of those things — minus 9. Whenever I’m having a long day, the moment I get in the elevator and the doors close, I drop all my bags and slouch dramatically against the wall for the entire ride up or down.

      • Stephanie says

        October 16, 2013 at 1:43 am

        Oh Victoria!! Your comment made me giggle out loud! I’ve done this one too. Why are we always so exhausted by the time we make it to the elevator? 🙂

    3. Nolie says

      September 28, 2013 at 7:18 pm

      Love me some country music. Told Tobei the other day I was officially old as I was driving my van blaring the country tunes.

      • Stephanie says

        October 1, 2013 at 9:55 pm

        Can I just say that I adore that you are *driving around* listening to country music! Yeah you! Didn’t you just get that licence? Congrats!

        • Nolie says

          October 1, 2013 at 11:44 pm

          I did. I got my G2 end of last October and then just got my G on the Friday that just went buy.

    4. Busy Bee Suz says

      September 21, 2013 at 9:42 pm

      You and your duck face are very silly!!!
      Me? I don’t do anything wrong….I damn near perfect.
      LOL!
      Ok, I have a secret stash of gummy bears; my weakness!

    5. Kari says

      September 20, 2013 at 11:27 pm

      I wholeheartedly LOVE this list! XO

    6. yonca says

      September 20, 2013 at 7:43 am

      Another Candy crush addict and nonstoppable singer here!

    7. brian miller says

      September 20, 2013 at 2:31 am

      level 102…
      kicking my butt…
      ha.

      and i def sing in the car…but have not made it to duck face stage yet…smiles.

    8. Shelly says

      September 19, 2013 at 11:46 pm

      Hahahaha!!! This was so funny. I twerk when no one’s looking and the right music is on.

      • Stephanie says

        September 19, 2013 at 11:51 pm

        Another closet dancer!! I love it! I will admit to cranking the tunes and dancing while doing the dishes, but I am way behind on the “new cool” dances. Must fix this!

    9. Julie says

      September 19, 2013 at 11:40 pm

      Wait, doesn’t everyone have a secret stash of ice cream and chocolate? Haa. Love this.

      • Stephanie says

        September 19, 2013 at 11:49 pm

        I think all of the smart people do”)

    10. Soozle says

      September 19, 2013 at 10:53 pm

      That all seems perfectly normal and non-weird to ME 😀

      I fully admit to having taught myself to dance (Ie The Dougie) via YouTube videos in my living room.. very badly but happily 😀

      • Stephanie says

        September 19, 2013 at 11:48 pm

        I SO love that!! I still have no clue how to Dougie, but my girls did teach my two year old nephew how to do it! Hmm off to google and see if I can add one more then to my crazy list!

    11. Gigi says

      September 19, 2013 at 10:14 pm

      #7!!!!! I think we all do that!

      And I don’t have a cat – or a dog – but I find myself talking to the computer, the printer, my phone and any other inanimate object like it can hear – and obey – me. But just like my family, they usually ignore me too.

      • Stephanie says

        September 19, 2013 at 11:46 pm

        I really did think I was the only one!! Do you think our Mothers all taught us that? I wonder if my kids turn their backs to that mirror? LOL And if it makes you feel any better, my cat doesn’t really listen to me either. HA

    12. Jo says

      September 19, 2013 at 6:59 pm

      I also only sing out loud when I’m alone in the car, unless I’m trying to annoy the kids in the morning then I sing at the top of my voice. O and I also hide the evidence after eating ice cream or such. I think you are pretty normal.

      • Stephanie says

        September 19, 2013 at 11:45 pm

        From the sounds of it, hiding the ice cream container is perfectly normal, almost a matter of survival! “) Now, I must go sing in the kitchen and embarrass my kids a little! lol

    13. Loukia says

      September 19, 2013 at 5:16 pm

      Yes me too to so many of these, too!

      • Stephanie says

        September 19, 2013 at 11:43 pm

        Life is better with a little bit of crazy, right? 🙂

    14. Janice says

      September 19, 2013 at 3:33 pm

      Haha YUUPPP! I think we all do some super strange things when we are sure nobody is looking. I’m guilty of plucking my eyebrows in the car!

      • Stephanie says

        September 19, 2013 at 11:42 pm

        Oh but the lighting is so much better in the car! I get that 🙂

    15. Buttons says

      September 19, 2013 at 12:39 pm

      Oh I think we are very similar I can add no others. #7 yup that is a weird thing and oh yes I do it too. Duck face be careful now with that one I am just a tad (maybe more) older than you and I just want to warn you the wrinkles from the duck face if you do it a lot are permanent I KNOW:) So I have to check out this Candy Crush game but then again maybe not:) B

      • Stephanie says

        September 19, 2013 at 11:42 pm

        Can I tell you how happy I am to hear I’m not the only one who worries there are creepers on the other side of those two way mirrors! 🙂 Thanks for putting my mind at ease, and the heads up about too much Duck Face! Ha

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    Travel addict, sun seeker, coffee drinker, fashion lover, picture taker. This is a peek behind the closed and competitive doors of the suburbs. A place to come to learn about the best places to travel with your kids in Canada, the United States, the Caribbean and beyond! stephanie@sassymodernmom.com
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