Heartbroken

One baby, then a puppy, then our second child.  My house was full. 

Later on a kitten?  Yep, chaos was my normal.  Chaos was my love.  For more than 14 years this house has been full of noise, of barking, of squealing and laughter. 
Now..it is too quiet.  Painfully, achingly quiet. 
My Husband at work, my girls are at school, that cat sleeps all day long and my dog.  My dog is gone. 
Today, this week, I do not feel witty, clever or smart.  Today all I feel is an ache deep down and I can’t stop the tears.  Mine or theirs.  Today I must acknowledge a loss in our family.  The loss of our sweet Maddy girl, our almost 13 year old black lab. 

Maybe only a pet lover would get this; dogs bring so much to our lives, and then leave a huge gapping hole when they are taken from us so suddenly. Our sweet dog was a best friend, a playmate, a confident, a protector.  A quiet companion late into many lonely nights, often sitting with me while I nursed and cared for sick babies, then toddlers now teens.  The quietist of souls and the best listener in the house.   A lover of popcorn, bananas, and the occasional unguarded piece of cheese. The last to say goodbye to us when we left our home, the first to celebrate our arrival back to the house. 
My dearest Madison, I am so sorry I wasn’t here for you when you left this earth.  Thank you for helping me take care of my babies, for being a friend to me in this sometimes big and empty house, for protecting us from unseen bad guys and for always offering a friendly nudge when I was down.  You were loved, you will be missed.  Always.