How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Calorie Killers and Glow In The Dark Toys. Inventions We Need In The Suburbs

in Everyday on

Over the years I have “invented” some pretty awesomesause stuff.  In my head  Sadly, I have not put any of these brilliant ideas into action.  Still, they are my ideas and I’m staking claim to them here and now!

1)  Glow in the dark soothers.  My oldest was a soother-aholic   She could make it through the night on her own at a very early age, as long as she could find that damn soother, and she could NEVER find that damn soother!  Until one day out of combination of frustration and desperation Hubby and I got the brilliant idea to put about 19 soothers into that crib.  19 soothers is apparently just enough to keep a wee one busy for about 8 hours.  The big problem, you can’t keep a crib full of 19 soothers for very long.  Eventually, those little things get lost.  Therefore the invention of the century!  Soothers that glow in the dark.  No excuses from a whimpering baby longing for her lost soother, she wouldn’t be able to miss it if it was glowing in the dark! 

2) A locater button for the TV’s remote control.  I am sick of saying “Who has the remote?” “Where is the remote” “Check the couch cushions!”  You know, cause heaven forbid we just return the remote control to the coffee table where it belongs.  The television needs a big old button on it that you can just press, to sound the “remote is missing” alarm!  Press that button and then that remote just beep beep beeps until you find the little sucker.  Brilliant right?

3) Coffee delivery.  Okay, so I didn’t invent this idea, but good grief it’s a good one and I want Tim Horton’s and Starbucks delivered on a truck! To my door! In the suburbs baby!

Last but not least…..

4) A super sonic calorie killer flavour spray.  You know those sprays and gums they sell to help control cravings for smokers? Yah, well I am a strong believer that there should be one to help control cravings for cake, chips, popcorn and mashed potatoes. Wouldn’t hurt if that sprayed burned a few calories too.  I need this.  Stat.

Whatcha think?  Want to help me patent my brilliance?

    • Comments

    4. We need that remote control locator too, Stephanie. When are you gonna produce it? I’ll definitely buy one! So is the calorie killer:-)

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    6. What the hell is a soother?

      I’ve had the same idea of the remote finder, and since I’m far, far older, I think my claim probably pre-dates yours. Sorry!

      I do like the idea of calorie-killer spray. In fact, if it killed all the calories, you wouldn’t need it to control your cravings.

    11. You are my hero for suggesting #2.

      It is so much of a problem here that I actually went to the gadget store and asked if they could suggest anything (nothing). Disappointed, I bought a universal remote and programmed it as the back-up. Sometimes, I still get to look for the remote and the back-up remote. Blah.