How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

How To Survive Life With Kids

in Everyday on

It is the best of times, it is the worst of times…it’s real life with kids.

A girlfriend asked me what life with kids is really like, the honest truth.  Does it really change things?  Um.  Yes, yes it does.  And so the flashbacks and all too honest snippets began.   Prepare yourself.  This is what it is really like surviving life with kids in the suburbs.

*You do not glow when you are pregnant. That my friends is simply what good friends say about the sheen of sweat you are showing off from the constant battle against morning sickness. 

*Giving birth? It’s not pretty.  Parts of you will be stretched beyond human recognition and it hurts.  Period.  But don’t worry, most of your bits and pieces will bounce back and drugs are a gift from the gods.

*Nursing (for me) was not natural.  It was learned.  A battle of nipple vs a teeny mouth disguised as a vacuum.  There will be raw nipples, possibly some blood and definitely some tears and that will just be from you.  Once you get it though it is so worth the fight!  Hang in there. 

*Sleep?  I hope you had lots of sleep before you had kids.  You won’t be getting any more until those kids leave for college.

*After you have kids your life is never ever really yours again.  If you want five minutes of peace and solitude you had better take a good book and hide in the bathroom.  Don’t forget to lock the door because those little toddler type creatures will hunt you down, even there. 

*It will be years before you ever sit down and eat a hot dinner again.  Accept it.

*Carpool will become one of your favourite words.  A good carpool is almost as fabulous as a good babysitter.  Once you find another parent you can count on to share driving responsibilities to and from some of the dozens of extra curricular activities your kids are in you might have to restrain your self from actually kissing those people.  Carpool partners are GOLD!

*Hot lunch at school.  Just do it.  Sign your kid up and enjoy the occasional day off of trying to create an imaginative and healthy meal that will actually end up in their tummy’s and not the closest garbage pail.

*By the time your kids are teens their social schedules will be busier then yours.  It just might be time to start to try and get your own life back!

*You will quickly forget what it was you ever did before you had kids….and you will be just fine with that. 

My children are my biggest, my best most beautiful gift.  I wouldn’t change one moment of my life with them.  What I do wish, is that there had been one girlfriend in my life to tell me it’s not all picture perfect, and that it isn’t supposed to be.  Sometimes it’s bumps and bruises but every bump is an opportunity to make another memory.  Just hang on tight and enjoy the ride. 

    • Comments

    4. Amen and well said! My kids are grown and I still have a sign on my bathroom door that says, Stop, privacy please… this means you! My feeble attempt to at least be able to go to the bathroom without an audience.

    5. Excellent advice! Once you have those kids your life is never just yours again. Ever. And you find that you are okay with that.

    8. So true! A couple of mine still haven’t really grown up, but that’s too much truth for most! But I will say nursing did come natural to me and I loved every minute of it and can’t imagine making and warming bottles…..of course, I did with the first because nursing was not “in” 42 years ago and I don’t think it even crossed my mind. But when the next one came along, I was in my maternal phase and nursed for 2 years.

      Have a great weekend!

    11. It’s so true. I always say to friends and family that if you are not mentally ready for kids don’t have them. It’s such a big commitment. Mine are 23-21-18 and we are still very busy with them. Kids are for life.