How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Crap, I Think I’ve Out Grown Cosmo

in Everyday on

Each and every Christmas my Hubby can be counted on to top up my stock of girly magazines.  (you know mindless reading magazines!  Get you minds out of the gutter)  The old faithful that is always stuffed into the stocking is my Cosmopolitan magazine.  Usually within the week I have devoured the magazine from cover to cover.  I mean, I can’t justify spending money on the trashy mags for myself but if they are a gift, I have to read them right?

Well here it is creeping up to the end of February and I finally found the time to open that bad boy up.  The problem, it made me sad!  

“Catchy” article titles like:

The Touch That Locks Down His Love

Dates He’ll Be Psyched to Go On

Downright Epic Décolletage

Look Amazing The Morning After

….no longer appeal to me.  You know why?  I don’t care!! Why not?

I’d much prefer articles with titles like this:

The Look That Will Make Him Take The Garbage Out

Play Dates He Won’t Moan About and Maybe Even Lend a Hand

Cleavage Is Over Rated, Rock What You’ve Got

and even

Teach Him To Think You’re Gorgeous with No Make-up

and Yoga Pants

Sigh.  I guess the reality is, I’m getting old. I figure I know all the sex tricks I’m going to need, I have no time for games, and if my “décolletage” doesn’t look good enough to him after birthing two of his giant babies and nursing them both…. well he can suck it. 

Guess next Christmas I’ll ask for some Oprah or Martha Stewart Living!

Mwah!

 

PS  Did you hear about my search for 10 #MiracleMoms?  An amazing opportunity to tell the stories of incredible Bloggers.  Show your support or apply here!

    • Comments

    1. it is not crap..it is time to be happy!! cosmo is what is crap?! Dirty little secrets to keep your boyfriend happy is NOT what makes a person happy..and makes the boyfriend “happy” for like 15 minutes.

    2. My sister works on Cosmo here, I went through her stash when I last visited her and realised our love is well and truly over!! Sibling love or not, I cannot relate anymore.

    5. bwahahaha! this was me realizing this about a week ago! I got a cosmo as part of my valentine gift…and my first instinct was eek omg selena gomez is on the cover?! does her mother know about this?!….and then well…i haven’t even touched the thing yet and it’s a week later! sigh.

    6. Sooo funny! I don’t know when I stopped liking it but I do know that every time I have a hair appointment the young girls are trying to give me these kind of mags to read but inevitably I have to go change it for a copy of House & Home or Vegetarian Times;)