I can feel it already. Tomorrow is going to be one of those days. It’s the annual event all women dread, we put it off and yet we know we simply must do it. It’s the annual physical. (uh note to the men folk who read my blog, you might want to just move along now, this post is not for you)
Tomorrow morning I will shower as if I am getting ready for a date where I know I’m going to get some uhhhh attention? I will shave, lather and be sure I am extra super squeaky clean. Why? Not because I am looking forward to some “come hither” time with someone I love, but because I have a date with the cold hard invasive claw that is known as the speculum. Frankly, this kind of date sucks!
It’s not just the little blue sheet, the humiliating weigh in, the making small talk with a kindly Doctor as she examines your privates, the boob check…it’s the dread that builds up to this day!
It’s trying to figure out which socks weigh the very least (every ounce counts on those scales). Which underwear and bra are “Doctor” appropriate, and for this self confessed hypochondriac it’s talking myself off the preverbal ledge. What if she finds something? What if these constant headaches are more then just headaches? What if the gnawing ache in my stomach is more then the “simple” ulcer I have decided it is and my well meaning Doctor scares the crap out of me with a litany of tests. Oh she does like to order tests.
Sigh. Stupid to worry, worse to complain about having access to health care.
Perhaps tomorrow I will get lucky. Maybe Specky the Speculum will be warmed up and waiting for me under a heat lamp, maybe it will be quick and painless, maybe I will weigh less then I think I do, maybe she will prescribe an anti-biotic for my “oh so simple to diagnose stomach ache” and all this worrying will be for naught. Maybe.
A girl can dream right. Sometimes being a women is so much more complicated then it seems.
Yeah, it’s pretty much my least favourite thing to do, too… good luck, Steph. xo
I am definitely less afraid of this visit after popping 3 kids out I my woohah. The anxiety used to be something terrible!!! You will be fine, just fine. Now I need to talk myself into getting an annual with a standard practitioner. I only do my girly doc, never a general check-up. Oops! Now the panic starts all over again.
I just visited Specky a few days ago. Luckily the doc had her warming in a bowl of hot water.
I must admit tho, as horrible as the visit is….the time by myself is worth it…the break from home and then a designer coffee afterwards.
Good luck….I’m sure you’re fine.
I would rather get 100 speculum exams than one dentist visit.
Aww, yes, the dready speculum – I hate that time of the year. Maybe that is why I have been putting it off – better go and make my date with Specky 🙁
Good luck tomorrow!
You couldn’t have said it better. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way. Best to you!
Ugh, I’ve been poked/proded more times this last year and half that Specky is my bitch. =)
However, last week I didn’t realize I was getting checked and didn’t feel so fresh and clean…thought it was just a belly check. Ugh.
Good luck today, I’ll be thinking of you.
The dreaded physical, how we hate it! I’m due in the summer, oh joy!
You’ll be fine. :). But always good to be prepared.
UGH!!! I go in 3 wks!! 🙁
invasive claw? You got that one right! I’ll never be able to visit my gyno without thinking the speculum is named Specky now. Thanks for that!
I hope all goes well with your check up.
At the same time, I’ll be getting my third mammo in 12 months! NOT fun either.
I just had an internal in December and the dr. did run warm water over it first. That was kind.
Good luck, it is def. the lead up to the appointment which is the hardest part. Go ahead and grab yourself a treat after it’s over.
Hope all goes well. We sure do know what you are talking about!
i hope that all goes well tomorrow…
My doctor actually DOES warm up the speculum 🙂 He’s seriously the most awesome gynecologist I’ve ever met.