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How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Tell Me the Truth You Bunch of Liars

in Everyday on 12/16/11

So I’ve been reading lots of lists lately.  You are all so nice. So warm, and fuzzy and grateful for the wonderful things in your life.  Waxing poetic about how much you love your Husbands, your kids, the roof over your head and the extra time with your family. To that I say PFFFT.  Whatever!  Might I add Uh Duh?  We know this already! 

I want to know what you are TRULY thankful for!  Here, let me get you started.

I’m thankful for:

Visine, which I spray in my eyes every single morning to try and disguise how truly tired I really am.

For under eye concealer, so I can look like I am remotely human as opposed to the zombie Mom that I sometimes am.

Actually, to make-up in general, I bow down to you.  Mwah.

I’m thankful to coffee, I big fat squishy heart you!  Caffeine is simply a vital part of my life.

I’m grateful for the one or two nights a year my parents and in-laws take the kids overnight!  I love my children more then life itself and the house is kind of creepy quiet when they are not here, but we are being honest right?  Walking naked from the bedroom to the bathroom is super cool, extra sleep and uhh acting like grown-ups with  a little less real life responsibility once in a while, that is brilliant! 

I’m thankful for McDonalds.  Who doesn’t need a little fast food fix once in a while?  If you can avoid all fast food, well, then I guess you are a better Mama then me.  You know what, add hot dogs, ice cream and popcorn to this list.  They have all been used as substitute dinners ….because that’s how I roll.

I’m thankful for the mornings I can find matching socks.  It’s the little things.

I’m grateful for the days when the flyers out number the bills in the mailbox.

I love it when the kids declare they have no homework.  I’m so tired of homework. 

I’m thankful for the evenings when we don’t have to carpool to gymnastics, dance, piano or play dates.  (Yes, sometimes I’m happy to be lazy, and thrilled to encourage TV or computer time! GASP!)

I’m grateful to find one more bottle of ketchup at the back of the cupboard when I thought it was all gone.

I’m thankful for the one pair of jeans that makes my butt looks good. 

And thrilled if I find some chocolate left in my secret stash.  (Every Mama in the Suburbs must have a secret chocolate stash)

These are not the big things that make a person happy, these are the real things that bring joy and make life a little easier. So fess up and tell me the truth….have you got a little guilty pleasure you are thankful for?

 

PS  If today is Friday, it’s the last day to enter my Holiday Box Giveaway from You’ve Been Gifted!

  • « Surviving Childhood and The Stupid Things We Do
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    Comments

    1. ~she~ says

      December 20, 2011 at 12:56 pm

      Love this post! My list includes:
      Diet Coke- it’s just lovely.
      Pajamas
      A night off
      Chipotle
      Christmas cookies
      Christmas music
      When I don’t have to pack lunches
      Running on time (a rarity)
      Waking up when it’s sunny out

    2. Louise says

      December 19, 2011 at 10:38 pm

      Fantastic post!
      I’ll admit to going “on and on” about my hubster, but he puts up with me and deserves a little attention

      http://latenightplays.typepad.com/late-night-plays/2011/12/400-words-about-things-i-love.html

      but in the spirt of your hilarious list, here are some that didn’t make mine:

      ~ my secret stash of cream (i think) filled 1/2 moon cakes

      ~ pizza days at my kids’ schools (happy dance)

      ~ that powder you can sprinkle in your hair to trick people into thinking it’s clean

      ~ being able to guzzle cold medicine if i need to because i’m NOT pregnant or nursing

    3. Polly says

      December 19, 2011 at 11:00 am

      Ditto ditto and ditto some more

    4. Ricardo Miñana says

      December 19, 2011 at 9:09 am

      I wish peace and happiness these days,
      Happy Holidays!.
      a hug.

    5. Tooje says

      December 19, 2011 at 4:23 am

      I have a feeling I could read every single comment you have here and find myself nodding, nodding, nodding. I read Sober Julie’s at the top and started laughing. Indeed, soundproof would be fantastic. Why oh why? At least I have finally trained my 3 1/2 year old boy that he can no longer barge in on me and must knock. Mama needs to be alone sometimes.

      I’m grateful for panty liners. Yes. Liners. Because when I go to my fitness boot camp and she makes us do anything that involves hopping, those vaginal deliveries take their toll.

    6. Norms says

      December 19, 2011 at 1:56 am

      Great List!! Love blogs about Gratitude!! There is nothing too small to be thankful for!!

    7. M says

      December 19, 2011 at 1:29 am

      Copy your list and add flavored vodka to mine 🙂

    8. Rossana says

      December 18, 2011 at 10:52 pm

      Love this list-I especially like [and need] the coffee and the eye concealer!
      I am also grateful for the few hours that DD is at school – my quiet time [Love her singing – but sometimes I want complete quiet]:)

    9. Jennifer L says

      December 18, 2011 at 10:38 pm

      Great list! I am also Thankful for Coffee and sleep (if I ever get it!) and too many more to list. You hit a bunch of mine for sure 🙂

    10. Busy Bee Suz says

      December 18, 2011 at 10:37 pm

      A free DAY with NO agenda!!!!!!

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    Travel addict, sun seeker, coffee drinker, fashion lover, picture taker. This is a peek behind the closed and competitive doors of the suburbs. A place to come to learn about the best places to travel with your kids in Canada, the United States, the Caribbean and beyond! stephanie@sassymodernmom.com
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