How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Tell Me the Truth You Bunch of Liars

in Everyday on

So I’ve been reading lots of lists lately.  You are all so nice. So warm, and fuzzy and grateful for the wonderful things in your life.  Waxing poetic about how much you love your Husbands, your kids, the roof over your head and the extra time with your family. To that I say PFFFT.  Whatever!  Might I add Uh Duh?  We know this already! 

I want to know what you are TRULY thankful for!  Here, let me get you started.

I’m thankful for:

Visine, which I spray in my eyes every single morning to try and disguise how truly tired I really am.

For under eye concealer, so I can look like I am remotely human as opposed to the zombie Mom that I sometimes am.

Actually, to make-up in general, I bow down to you.  Mwah.

I’m thankful to coffee, I big fat squishy heart you!  Caffeine is simply a vital part of my life.

I’m grateful for the one or two nights a year my parents and in-laws take the kids overnight!  I love my children more then life itself and the house is kind of creepy quiet when they are not here, but we are being honest right?  Walking naked from the bedroom to the bathroom is super cool, extra sleep and uhh acting like grown-ups with  a little less real life responsibility once in a while, that is brilliant! 

I’m thankful for McDonalds.  Who doesn’t need a little fast food fix once in a while?  If you can avoid all fast food, well, then I guess you are a better Mama then me.  You know what, add hot dogs, ice cream and popcorn to this list.  They have all been used as substitute dinners ….because that’s how I roll.

I’m thankful for the mornings I can find matching socks.  It’s the little things.

I’m grateful for the days when the flyers out number the bills in the mailbox.

I love it when the kids declare they have no homework.  I’m so tired of homework. 

I’m thankful for the evenings when we don’t have to carpool to gymnastics, dance, piano or play dates.  (Yes, sometimes I’m happy to be lazy, and thrilled to encourage TV or computer time! GASP!)

I’m grateful to find one more bottle of ketchup at the back of the cupboard when I thought it was all gone.

I’m thankful for the one pair of jeans that makes my butt looks good. 

And thrilled if I find some chocolate left in my secret stash.  (Every Mama in the Suburbs must have a secret chocolate stash)

These are not the big things that make a person happy, these are the real things that bring joy and make life a little easier. So fess up and tell me the truth….have you got a little guilty pleasure you are thankful for?

 

PS  If today is Friday, it’s the last day to enter my Holiday Box Giveaway from You’ve Been Gifted!

    • Comments

    1. We often forget about the little things. Great list! I love the wireless mouse to my laptop. I love that I can stay in my PJ’s almost everyday until late afternoon! Merry Christmas

    8. Well…my list would probably look exactly like yours….word for word actually! Lol. I would also add I’m thankful when the kids are in bed..this is horrible…and when my husband is out of town….total and utter me me me me time!!!! Xbox….reality tv and late night no good for you snacks like cheese cheese.

      Wow….that felt good to get that out in the open….now just don’t tell my family please!

    11. Bahaha! Okay, ya got me. I have a long list of these, but I’m going to give you what I consider my worst one:
      I’m kinda glad when my kids get sick (not vomit sick that they feel really horrible, just slight fever — enough to not go to school), so I can stay home in my pajamas, not make lunch, watch movies with them all day, and have an excuse not to do any housework. “I had no time, I was taking care of the kids.”
      Okay, they kinda like these days too, but omg, I feel horrible admitting it. LOL!

    13. Yes, yes and YES!!! Love your list. And I thoroughly encourage schlepping the kids off anywhere at any time to have peace and quiet.

    14. I have so many it’s not funny but top of the list is the lock on the bathroom door. I would be even more grateful if the bathroom was soundproof so I couldn’t hear the kids banging on that door to get in.