Yes, Hello, Bonjour! I’m still in Paris! Here is a Guest Post (my very first guest poster ever!!) from the incredibly sweet and fabulous Courtney of The Mommy Matters. Don’t follow her? You should!
I have to admit, when I became a mother I was completely and totally ill-prepared for the job that was ahead of me. I’d read all of the What to Expect books, joined tons and tons of online “parenting” forums, and had sought advice from every wise and knowing mother who had come before me. But in the weeks that followed my son’s birth and our transition from the hospital to our home, I discovered that I was totally and completely clueless.
No one told me when I was pregnant, that for the first several post-partum months, I would find under-eye concealer as essential as breathing. They also failed to mention that if I wanted the stuff to do its job and hide the fact that I was completely sleep-deprived, I would need to lose the spit-up covered Yoga Pants and opt for something…clean.
Remember having that thought while you were still pregnant that six weeks seemed like an eternity to go without sex? After that baby is delivered, I promise you sex is the last thing on your mind. And that “six week appointment” you thought you’d be looking forward to? You know, the one where they give you the “go ahead” to have sex again? You’ll most likely be trying to reschedule that bad baby and move it to a later date. And if you can’t, you’ll be amazed at what kind of excuses you can come up with not to hop in the sack with your man again. Because the idea of spending even 15 minutes of “free time” doing something other than sleeping, seems absolutely absurd.
Remember those really cute, low rise skinny jeans you used to rock prior to mommy-hood? Yeah. You might as well rid your closet space of those. Even if you get back down to your pre-preggo weight, the likelihood that you’ll be able to squeeze everything that has been “misplaced” back in those jeans, is slim-to-none. Because people forget to tell you that after delivering a baby, things move and weight isn’t about the number anymore. It’s about finding room to put that new-found “junk in the trunk” and figuring out how to contort your body so you can squeeze those baby-mama hips into a pair of normal jeans again.
Starting to feel like you were short-handed? Feeling like those pregnancy books ripped you off and failed to share the realities of motherhood with you? Don’t. Because despite your new concealer addicted, sex-averting mentality, motherhood really is joyous. The sleep deprivation fades, you get eventually start to look at your husband like he’s a good guy again (instead of the evil sperm-giver who got you in this situation in the first place) and you start to realize that motherhood is the most exciting roller-coaster of emotions and happiness that you’ve ever been on.
Thanks so much to Modern Mom for giving me the opportunity to Guest Post!
This is such a great post and done with a great sense of humor which is key to keeping your sanity in every situation