How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Pre-Christmas Rant. It’s A Tradition.

in Everyday on

The holidays are just around the corner, the pressure is building and something has got to give…or I could just whine and rant right here.  Free therapy begins now.

Mother nature is freaking out and so am I. What is going on? My parents are in Naples Florida and are experiencing freezing temperatures?  Huh?  Up here, we have snow banks that are literally 6 feet tall and we have been told to brace for round too!  Enough. 

Flyer delivery boy. Honey.  The flyer needs to be placed on our doorstep.  Wanna know why?  Because when you leave it on the driveway and then it gets covered in three feet of snow, this happens.  Look very closely. Can you see the flyer?

IMG_5319 IMG_5321

Yep. She is stuck in there.  This type of snow plow jam leads to red veins popping out of my Hubbys neck and my dear daughters hearing words I would really rather they not!  Besides, chasing down the bits that did make it through the throwy part of the snow blower, NOT fun.  IMG_5324Speaking of snow..Snow plow dude.  I fear for your life.  Not because your job is dangerous, but because if you keep ploughing in people’s driveways, there will be a revolt.  One of these Suburban Daddy’s is going to chase you down and stick a banana in your tail pipe…..or errr something way more sinister and icky. 

Dear Neighbour.  Thanks for the Christmas card.  I’m happy to receive it especially since we talk like twice a year and hear the news that you will be in Florida for the next three weeks.  Ummm adding the “PS Can you please shovel my driveway when I’m away?” Shocking!  Not gonna happen sweetie! 

People are rude.  Yes I know this is not news. However, do you not find that near the holidays people become exceptionally self centered and jerkish?  Today Mr. Entitled snaked the parking spot I was waiting for, and then when he saw me walking huffing by 3 minutes later gave me a “How YOU doin.”  Seriously!  Give your head a shake.  How Rude.  and might I add not a chance!

Teachers. I love you.  No one works harder then you. Except my 9 year old kid that you keep piling assignments on. Enough already!  Can we please have some slack for just a wee bit.  No one likes assignments over the Christmas Holidays. That is so very Grinch like. 

Dear Turkey.  Yes, I am writing to/ranting about the turkey.  I buy you already stuffed and ready to go.  This is because I am a modern mom, not a domestic diva.  Please this year, could you thaw out overnight as promised and cook in a reasonable amount of time?  I would so love to feed my family before 8pm this year.  Thanks ol bird.

Ahhh Much better now. Ranting is good for the soul! Go ahead….try it!

Linky love Five Giveaways of Proactiv Green Tea Moisturiser! Canadians only. Ends Friday.

    • Comments

    1. One of the reasons I’m a “Ba Humbugger” about the holidays is the cold snow filled days which makes it really hard to get around in my wheelchair. The people are rude and pushy. Christmas is more about the presents than sharing time together. OK there’s my rant and it’s only September, oops ! Maybe I’ll come back in December and copy & paste it on ta similar holiday post.

    2. Hope your rant helped.Honestly i just think we expect to much of ourselves.this year i never shopped going with all gift cards.

    4. Did the rant help relieve some of your stress? If so, maybe I should write mine down! 🙂

      And how dare all these people and things offend you!

    6. Yeah, what is up with this time of year? On the one hand it’s all joyful and merry and there’s the excitement of the big day. On the other, there’s the horrid weather, the grumpy people and bad drivers. And the snow, don’t even get me started.

    7. I’ve been out of town, last I checked in on you was day one of snow, not looking so fun now.

      I did add a link in my blog about you, may all your xmas wishes come true.

    9. Ah – the one emotion that brings all mankind together, intense hatred of the snowplow man who piles up snow in driveways. The harmony of anger he leaves in his wake is almost beautiful.