How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Things I Yelled At The Dog Today

in Everyday on

MikeyMy In-laws are away on a fabulous vacation.  Yeah for them.  I am not at all jealous.  For us, this means another extended visit from their dog.  Sigh.  He is a great big beautiful, sad looking brown lab.  Don’t let his looks fool you…a wee devil hides behind those innocent eyes.  He is pretty, and I love him, but he is dumb as a stump and a pain in the a$$.

Suddenly there is a lot of yelling going on in this normally quiet house.  It sounds something like this:

“Mikey, be quiet”
”Mikey, get back here”

“Dude, put that down!”

“Mikey, sit.  Please sit.  Okay, well stand still.”

“Mikey, GET OUT OF THE GARBAGE”

“Don’t. You. Dare  Throwing up in the house.  Not cool.”
”Why the bleep would you want to eat the caca out of a litter box? You dumb dumb dog!  I’m going to see that again.”

“Who ate my Muffins? Mikey?”

“Oh Mikey c’mon…an entire loaf of bread?  Seriously, how are you still hungry?”

“Good grief man!  How many times a day does a dog have to pee?”

“Hubby, YOUR dog needs to go out again.”

“MIKEY. Stop eating your own poop. Disgusting”

“Time for bed big boy.”

I am tired of my own voice.  He must be tired of me by now.  Ten more days.  Good thing God made him cute.

    • Comments

    1. OMG Too Funny. I have 3 yes 3 dogs in my house and the huskies “snack” from the litter box if they accidentally get left on the porch… we keep the cats separated from the dogs… Our male husky would love to skip the cat crap and go straight for chomping on some fresh kitty… but as for the litter box we joke and call the ” turdy treats” because it’s disgusting and I don’t claim them whenever they do that… so gross. Enjoy the next 10 days…

    2. I scream at my husband’s dog (I don’t claim him as mine) on a daily basis. He drives me crazy! He is a bull terrier, like the Target dog, and he is stubborn as a bull. And dumb. He makes my life way harder than it has to be. He eats my underwear and the baby’s dirty diapers. Gross!

    6. I love dogs but cannot stand other people’s canines in my house – no matter how well behaved they are at home they seem to turn into dumb, demanding and irritating dirty animals once the owners leave. That’s why I quit the dog-sitting business, it was driving us crazy.

      Good luck, and remember prozac! LOL

    9. AWWW! Sounds exactly like my Lab Nika when whe was a pup! Labs can be very stupid in a sens that they are always looking for things to eat and mess up the house… But not if you train them english by bribing them with food. Labs will do anything for food! Nika is 12 or 13 years old now and shes very calm and doesnt make a mess anymore and she knows english so well.. I love labs they are the best pets to have!