How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

How To Survive Mornings In The Suburbs

in Everyday on

house2 After about 11 years of life here in the suburbs I have picked up a few tips.  Mornings may not be all sunshine and rainbows, but by following a few of these suggestions, you may see fewer tears and temper tantrums and actually emerge on the other side with a smile?    Okay, not a smile, but maybe that sassy kid that ripped your vay jay jay in half on the moment of her birth will leave your house with a skip in her step instead of a curse word in her throat.  Pre-teens are so much fun!

#1.  Make sure your Dear Daughters have an outfit picked out for school BEFORE they go to bed.  Then you go and pick out the back up outfit because the one they choose was: not warm enough, too hot or way inappropriate for school.  If by some miracle they come down to breakfast and are wearing the perfect outfit, then you can be sure they will dump a glass of orange  juice all down the front of their white shirt.  Just trust me and have a back up.

#2.  If you are super smart, you will have lunches made the night before too.  Why?  Cause when you don’t, that is when you realize that all you have left in the fridge is a left over piece of pizza and half a bagel.  Not cool.

#3.  Breakfast is easy.  Whatever crap food you serve them be it a bagel, toaster waffle, instant oatmeal …just throw some fresh fruit on the side and a glass of milk and you will feel like that Mom from Leave it To Beaver, or at the very least good ol Mrs Brady, at least she was smart enough to hire Alice.

#4.  Hair.  Girls are easy.  Pony tails.  Yes, straightening their pretty little locks may seem like a good idea, but it’s June people, the Head lice are taking over the schools!  Put that hair up!!  Boys, gel.  Head Lice don’t like gel.

#5.  Teeth.  Send them upstairs to brush and floss.  Remind them that they must brush WITH toothpaste.

Note: While your children are doing number 3 and 5, you’re running around emptying the dishwasher, starting the life elixir otherwise known as coffee, and throwing a load of laundry in.  This way no matter what else happens in the day, even if you spend the entire day eating bon bons and blogging,  you will look like you did something!

#6.  As your gorgeous kids come back downstairs, send them right back up again.  At least one of them forgot socks, the other one brushed her teeth, but she didn’t use toothpaste.

#7. Grab those pre-packed lunches and kiss them good bye.

#8. When you kiss the Hubby good bye, give him a big swat on the butt or even a little nip on the neck!  He will grin at your mischievous attitude, wonder what you put in your coffee, and think about you all day long.  This makes you one very smart girl.  

This my friends is how you get through survive mornings in the Suburbs.

    • Comments

    1. Good tips! I will have to remember those when my son starts preschool in August. And, I usually frantically do a bunch of chores like 30 minutes before my husband gets home from work so it looks like I’ve been slaving all day. It seems to work.

    2. I heard that lice don’t like coconut oil. A nurse at the local health dept. tells everyone to use Coconut Suave. I don’t know if it actually works but we use it and have never had lice. *knock wood*

    3. You got it down. Your mornings sound oh so familiar. Except I don’t do the back up outfit…but I am going to start. Thanks:)

    4. You got it down. Your mornings sound oh so familiar. Except I don’t do the back up outfit…but I am going to start. Thanks:)

    6. Lunches made the night before is a lifesaver for me!!!

      And the brushing WITH toothpaste is always an issue for my youngest DD..

      Very funny!

    7. Great survival tips. My boys give me run for my money every single morning. Maybe one of these days it will go smooth,lol.

    9. Speaking of head lice, my daughter classmate had it and a letter was sent to all the parents. I had to bring my daughter to the doctor to check that she wasn’t infected.

      #1 rule is also my rule too. I always have my daughter pick out her outfit and then I make a mental note of what to have her wear in case the outfit she picked is not suitable for next day’s weather.

    11. You truly are supermom and superwife! 😀 Do you have any evening time to yourself though? oh yes, the wine… it lubricates the lunch-making arms! ha ha!

    12. These days I don’t know what I would do without the elixer of life. When my daughter wakes up at 6:15 to smile and play, it helps me be as energetic as she is.