How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

The Real Desperate Housewives?

in Everyday on

houseLife in the Burbs is not always the quiet, boring, meek and mild place you might think it is.  Behind those closed doors, decorated with their fancy door knockers, real drama, real life is going on. 

I may not look like one of the Desperate Housewives, can’t afford the personal trainer and fake boobs but if you weave the tales together of my friends and acquaintances, you could at least come up with a plot that matches up to any good soap.

Down the street a new house has come up for sale.  The gorgeous Mama that lives there has her 4th baby going off to college.  She kicked her cheating Hubby out and is moving in with her new female partner.  You go girl!

Around the corner, not so sweet 11 year old girl is having a birthday party this week. She invited everyone in the 5th grade…except one girl.  Thank goodness it wasn’t my girl, but who does that?  What kind of parent allows this?  Mean girls suck.  Oh and PS. They grow up to be mean women!

Down the street our beautiful life long friends have been waiting for the phone call that may change their lives forever.  These two giving, smart, loving people have been on the ride of their lives.  For more then a year, they have been riding a rollercoaster of emotions.  High hopes, incredible excitement, crushing disappointments.  They are adopting.  Now it looks like “the” call they have been waiting for has come!! I can not imagine the sweet agony of this waiting game they have been playing!  Fingers crossed, prayers and positive vibes.  Hoping this is the little baby that is meant to complete them.

Inappropriate Mom, you know the Mom that wears snakeskin boots, minis and tank tops to school pick up, switched Hubby’s with her girlfriend? For reals!

BFF came over and showed me her new boobs.  Yep, I touched em. 

Yes, as it turns out, except for the whole murderer on the loose thing, those Desperate housewives haven’t got anything on what happens here in the Burbs.

 

Don’t miss my $96 Hapari Bathing Suit Giveaway!

    • Comments

    3. Your neighborhood sound sway more interesting that the Desperate Housewives neighborhood. What is up with inviting everyone but 1 poor kid…that is lame and a lame parent.

    5. My friend Jason at The Jason Show also lives on Wisteria Lane, so exciting.
      I live in old folks la la land at this end of the tract, no fake boobies, she left her hubby and two little kids and moved in with a biker. Hey, wait a minute… I guess we all live near Desperate Housewives.

    9. Man Im disappointed…I only have old people on my street. Now if I went around our whole dinky town then I could have a great show!

    10. I love it when real life totally owns TV. This made me laugh. Oh, the drama that surrounds us.

      PS, so grateful I do not need fake boobs at this time in my life.

    11. You touched the fake boobs? What a hoot!
      Sounds like life in the burbs is a pretty happening place! To bad the 11 year birthday girl is starting the mean crap so young 🙁

      I need to start paying more attention my my neighbors. Now I wonder what they’re up to.

      Cheers,
      jj