How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Good Enough Reasons To Hate The Dentist

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dentist

 

1.  There is always an aquarium.  To calm you.  Puh!  All those fish swimming around with their eyes bulging out of their heads…they just look like they are silently screaming……

PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE!

2.  Everyone in the office.  Yes, everyone.  Their teeth are too white. They need to join the rest of of the world and down a cup of coffee or Red wine once in a while.  It’s unnatural, unholy.  Not fair.

3.  It freaks me out when you sit in that uncomfortable chair and 2 sets of eyes peek over at you from behind mint green and white masks.  Kind of reminds me of a horror flick.  I could never pick these dental hygienists out in a line up!  Do they even have faces behind those masks?  I’ve never seen them!

4. Tools are in my mouth.  One is sucking spit the other is pick pick picking.  Gross.  Then the dentist is asking me about my kids, plans for the summer, seen any good movies lately?  Huh?  Excuse me while I drool a little and try to figure out what and how I am supposed to talk??

5.  It smells. Nuff said.

I floss and I brush, but I do not enjoy the dentist.

I am an adult, kinda, and you can not make me go.  So there.

MM

PS…if you know a good hypnotist who can get their freak on and get me over this ridiculous childhood fear…please send me their e-mail.  Time to get over myself already.

 

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    • Comments

    5. And why oh why oh WHY do they ALWAYS ask you to, ”open your mouth wider for me . . . . a bit wider . . . . a little bit wider . . . ”?? I always want to yell, ”IF I OPENED MY MOUTH ANY WIDER THEN MY JAW WOULD DISLOCATE” at them, but I can’t because they’re usually rooting around in my mouth at the time – AARRGGGHHHHHH!!

      🙂

    6. I’ve never been afraid of the dentist. It’s not pleasant, but I’m not afraid.

      BUT, I am afraid of some work I have to have done in the near future. It’s going to be major and I’ve already been through a lot with this area that I am truly getting nervous about it. The work is related to an accident I had when I was a teenager where I broke my three front teeth. If they can’t save the teeth and replace my current crowns I may have to have implants put in. So that’s freaky me out big time.
      See, a cleaning or the occasional filling not so bad. Can you watch a movie with the headphones? That always kept my mind off the work they were doing in my mouth.

    7. I used to shake uncontrollably at the dentist. It was so bad that one yelled at me when I was 12. I didn’t go back for a long, long time after that.

      I liked the dentist I had a couple years ago. she was out of school maybe a year but she made me feel really comfortable. I don’t have dental insurance so I can’t afford to go back.

    9. you didn’t mention that awful sound. to me its worse than fingernails on a chalkboard! that high pitched squealing sound of the drills and cleaning machines…HATE IT.

    10. My dentist is the first dentist I have had without an aquarium. And I am never calm.

      Not that I was ever calm with the aquarium anyway.

      Great post.

    12. True, true on how pearly white AND perfectly straight the staff and the dentist’s teeth are. I hate the dentist drills and how they squirt cold water into your mouth. Ughhh!

    13. You’re gonna think I’m odd, but I love going to the dentist. I can actually fall asleep in the chair while they work on me – there’s just something relaxing about it!

      Maybe it’s because it’s the only time I can have half an hour to lay back with my eyes closed and not have to worry about what my kids are destroying. 🙂

    15. I love the dentist…I love getting my teeth cleaned. I know, weird…but that is me.
      I had so much dental work done for my first 30 years…so many issues that now it is a pleasure just getting a cleaning!