How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

This Weeks Confessions From The Suburbs ~ The Week that Gagged Me

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supergirlPulled hair from the drain. Got enough to knit me a sweater for the cat.  Yep, I’m going to find a use for the hair that made me throw up in my mouth just a little bit.  That’s how I roll.

Trying to decide if that is poop or chocolate smeared on my brand new towels?  Smell test is the only way to know for sure.  Whew, chocolate.

Squished giganticor the bug with nothing except butt wad.  This is not sufficient weaponry for squishing a bug that has eyes so big I can see it’s pupils.  Shiver and squeal!

Snuck a dark chocolate square from the brand new box, it was covered with crystallized sugar, yummers, so I popped it into my mouth when no one is looking.  Quickly discover it was NOT crystallized sugar it was SALT.  Gag.  A ton of salt. Big chunks of crunchy salt.  Gag. Gag.  No wonder the damn things were on sale.

I politely swallowed down warm sushi at the dinner party, that I didn’t want to go to anyway, cause there was simply no where else to put it.  Ick to warmish fish.  I just know I’m gonna see that again.

Sat next to a sweet little old man at the optometrists office. Sweet little old man had massive B.O. issue. UG.  Doesn’t someone love him enough to tell him he is a bit smelly?

Apparently I have developed a new super power.

The super power of the dry heave.

Sexy.

Top Mommy

 

Thanks to all who vote for me the Gagging Suburban SuperMama this week. 

Top Mommy Blogs reset their numbers again!  Mwah!

    • Comments

    3. My gag reflex is terrible. I would not have made it through you week without throwing up! Better you then me……Hope that is the end of it for you.

    4. You are much braver than me….I would have just thrown the towel in the wash without smelling first.
      And I would have found a napkin to spit the sushi into. I was at an AYCE place once, where they charge you full price if you don’t eat it, so I stuck it in my napkin and in my purse. I had NO idea that raw scallops were that HORRIBLE!

      And BTW, are the votes by ip address or computer, because I have three!!! (but obviously only one internet connection!) voting for you daily. of course, we gotta stick together!

    6. Sorry about all the issues that you had to go through. I hate it when you throw up in your mouth. Ugh! Poop or Chocolate (PLEASE) Of course I would want it to be chocolate. Salt on Chocolate (Are they nuts!) I would of threw that sushi across the room. YECK! Little Old Man (Bathtime).

      Gina
      motherof1princessand2princes.blogspot.com

    7. Why do they keep resetting their numbers? What a PITA! You’re #1 so therefore you should stay on top all the time. Sheesh. Don’t they know anything.

      Loved the gagfest, even if it was …. hard to swallow! 😀

    12. Hysterical as always. There is a man with BO and really stank coffee breath at the gym. He is sweet as can be, but oh my stars…if he gets on the elliptical next to me again….GAG. Um…do ya not notice the green pallor to my skin…?? ICKY…