How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Man Clean

in Uncategorized on

I came home the other day from running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
Hubby proudly announced he had cleaned up the kitchen!
Seriously? I am a 38 year old women feeling like I have one too many balls in the air right now, this had me all kinds of excited.

As I walked into our kitchen my reaction was less…”Oh thank you Honey” and more “What the hell are you talking about, I thought you said you CLEANED.” The kitchen looked EXACTLY the same as I had left it!
Me voicing my opinion on the matter didn’t go over so well.
He had emptied and filled the dishwasher, and apparently wiped off the 1 by 1 foot piece of counter that wasn’t covered in crap. In man language, that baby was all good and cleaned up.

Sigh.
Man clean is just different then Women clean!
Man vacuuming means vacuuming around furniture and anything that might be lying on the floor. Women move chairs, couches, and every single piece of crap their kids and dogs have dropped or touched in the last 24 hours gets put AWAY.
Man dusting. It does not exist.
Man dishes. If it fits in the dishwasher, you are all good. If not….it needs to soak. Usually for three or four days is good.
Man laundry. Gets done when he has completely run out of clean clothes and his socks can stand all on their own. It however does not get put away. It sits in that laundry basket all folded and creasing until it is needed to cover man parts. I guess putting clothes away in drawers would be a waste of man power.
Man toilets. Not in my lifetime!
Now don’t get me wrong I am grateful for every little bit of man cleaning that gets done around here. I think a man who vacuums is hot. I just wish man cleaning and women cleaning were animals of a more similar breed.
A girl can dream…

    • Comments

    1. Are you married to my husband?

      I’m 7 months pregnant and I can NOT touch the floor. I also can lift anything heavier than a piece of paper or my hands go numb or stand up for more than 10 minute stretches without my feet looking like the Pillsbury Dough boy baked them. So, I’ve had to rely upon my husbands cleaning.

      Now my house is a filthy pit and I can’t wait until my mom comes in a month to help me sanitize (and I do mean sanitize). She’s going to be horrified.

      Have I complained to him? Nope. He’s so proud of his handiwork. Also, I’m afraid he’d stop doing anything at all. So for now I’m just keeping the Kleenex close because I’m sneezing from all the dust.

      Choose your battles right?

    2. Man clean in this house means he washes his own water glass……sometimes. That’s it.
      If your guy does more than that, he’s a champ.

    4. When [and if] you get this figured out and discover a new way to teach your husband how to clean, please let me know. Because mine is pretty much clueless.

    6. I almost cracked up reading this because AS I am reading it, my husband is emptying and reloading our dishwasher and “cleaning” our kitchen!!! Needless to say I won’t be on the computer long this morning because I will soon need to clean up behind him!

    7. funny post. My husband is a good cleaner. It was something that we fought about early on… because he was the only one cleaning our house.

      Strangely the roles are now reversed and I agree… if there are more dishes than fit in the dishwasher, he would never wash them by hand… they stay on the counter.

      When he vacuums, he vacuums the stuff he can see and leaves the rest of the room unvacuumed… very odd.

      At least he does the laundry, by “do the laundry” he starts loads in the washer, puts them in the dryer and throws them on the floor in the family room… until they get folded…

    8. Oh dear… LOL LOL!

      I’m with you on the man non-cleaning thing, it’s like living with a 5 year old boy.

      MESSY!

      I did train my hubby to do the dusting and cleaning toilets once a month, if he wants to keep getting his warm dinners.

      Still not a good ratio, but it’s better than nothing… :-/

    11. Oh man, the dishes/kitchen has taken YEARS of “gentle conditioning” to get my husband to STOP using the spayer, 10 inches away from a dish, blasting water and food gunk EVERYWHERE, and then not wiping the counters with bleach or rinsing out the sink. Bless his heart he has gotten much better, though all that nagg-er um, “gentle conditioning” has caused him to develop a tick…

    12. How true! I wish I had someone who liked to organize the garage and basement without me having to ask! I hate having to ask. If you see it needs to be done, then just do it.

      You are so right on here!! We can only dream! LOL