How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Why oh Why??

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Why can’t the garbage man come on the same day every week? My garage would be a whole lot nicer to park in, the neighbourhood would smell better. On the flip side, it would be a lot less entertaining for the collectors who clearly get their chuckles from women in pajamas running like crazy people with trash cans to the curbs.

Why can’t I remember my new Dyson vacuum cleaner has a suck power of 10. My curtain rods can’t take many more “I sucked up the curtains” incidents. Besides, children shouldn’t hear those words coming from a Mamas mouth.

Why is it every time I am vacuuming I think I hear the phone ringing? Is there something wrong with me?

Why is it every time I declare a PJ day the delivery dude shows up!

Why is it when my house get to that special state of…”Eeek I have to clean this place up!” Friends decide to do the drop in.

Why is my kitchen counter such a crap magnet?

Why can’t an extra 5lbs around the middle be a sign of prosperity, a life well led? Why can’t it be hot?
Why have they not invented a travelling Starbucks truck..it could trail right behind the ice cream man!
I must accept that there are some things I shall never know.

    • Comments

    1. OK, Suz, give it up! Your house is clean 24/7!!!

      I can’t believe your garbage isn’t picked up on the same day every week. That’s just odd to me. I’m lucky enough to have my pickup day on Monday, which means all that ‘weekend’ trash gets hauled away asap. It’s especially great after a party or good garage/basement cleaning! 🙂

    3. I love reading your blog every day!!

      The delivery guy always shows up when I am in my PJ’s.

      My kitchen counters are full of crap as well. It is the dumping ground for everything.

    6. The Dyson has power not to be played with. 🙂
      Crap magnet? I love this term, so perfect!!
      And NO one EVER comes over when the HOUSE is CLEAN!!! NEvEr!!!

    8. So funny. I have only been in suburbia a year and me an several of the moms I have meet think we should start a starbucks delivery service, it would make staying at home with babies so much more tolerable!

    10. This is so true in my house. We have trash day on the same day but recycle happens every other week. I hope you have a great week.

    11. I think you describe most of us. Except for the trash days which are regular for us, the others have happened all too often. Don’t feel so all alone in this.