How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

This Weeks. . . . . . . . . . Confessions from Suburbia

in Everyday on

I put baby powder in my hair this morning because I was too damn tired to have a shower.

When my kids asked why we had to leave the park. I had no good excuse. I used “Because I said so.” I swore I would never do that.

When the Hubby was away golfing and the kids were tucked all snug in their beds, I snuck more then my share of the freshly baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. WAY more.

I had to give myself a courtesy flush. P U!! That will teach me to eat so many oatmeal cookies!

When I saw the Jehovah Witness crew knocking on the door….. I hid.

We fed the kids Kraft Dinner for supper, put them to bed, then feasted on Lobster. Just because.

It took me three days to return a phone call from my 90 year old Grandma.

I had to throw away 4 chicken breasts and a package of ground turkey because I just didn’t get to it in time.

I tried to talk my daughter out of Girl Guides because there are three girls in that group that have been so mean to her. The world doesn’t need any more pre-teen drama.

I honked at an old man I saw tagging a bridge…upon closer inspection, it turns out he was cleaning up the graffiti.

Please tell me I’m not the only one!

    • Comments

    1. Oh that honk could have totally been a “Great job” toot! speaking of toots, watch that oatmeal, next thing you know you’ll be lactating

    3. LOL love it!!!!!

      I hid from someone knocking on my door the other day. He didn’t look like my neighbors so no need to answer the door. Problem was I had to leave to go to an appt!!!

    6. i am way behind on my comments and just saw yours that i got an award so THANKS and i loved the last one, honking at the old man – don’t worry you probably only scared him bad enough for the clogged artery in his brain to finally burst

    7. I throw out more food due to my laziness. I keep thinking I’ll learn at some point to freeze the dang meat, but nope. Still haven’t.

    8. LOL. I use the excuse because I said so all the time. I love yur blog title, I just moved out to Suburbia from the city. What a trip, I get “hi neighbor” when ever I pull into my driveway. I see people riding horses through the starbucks drive through. WHAT?? I live in a trac home too, so it’s weird to walk into your neighbors house and it’s the same floor plan as yours.

      Um baby powder in the hair, hmmmm. I’ll have to remember that one!!

    10. heh heh I hide from Jehovah Witness people all the time. I’ve even gone so far to say I wasn’t a believer just for them to leave me alone. (that made it worse) Now I get 10 at a time.

    11. I hide from the door ringers all the time. When the kids want to go somewhere like the park and I don’t want to go, I tell them it is closed. They are only 2 and 4 years old. I suppose that is not going to work much longer.

    14. Nope, not the only one! I hate wasting food more than anything, but I probably throw away hundreds of dollars every year on meat that I just don’t feel like cooking by dinnertime.

      And MY kids would PREFER the Kraft Dinner!