How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

In Pursuit of a Giftbag

in Everyday on

A quick trip into Zellers.

I just need 1 gift bag.

Pink.
Perfect.
On sale.
Even better!

Oh and there is no line at the cashier. This is my lucky day!

What the hell???

Well excuse you family of five..perhaps you have some emergency to get to?
Go ahead, by all means, take that cart that is CRAMMED FULL of stuff for your University student (damn University town) and butt right in front of me.

Manners much!

zip ding
zip ding
zip ding
zip ding
zip ding
Good Grief ..you know when I am at the grocery store and someone comes up BEHIND me…I let them cut ahead. I let them play through. I am a courteous citizen of the world!! I was in front of you, besides, everyone knows 1 item to zip ding through is a whole lot faster then errrr 18.

zip ding
zip ding
zip ding
zip ding
zip beep….”Can I get a price check at 4”

Are you kidding me?
Foot starts tap tap tapping….

zip ding

zip ding

zip ding
FAAAARRRTT

zip ding

zip ding
Huh?

Did he just?
Did they just?
Oh help…the toxic smell!

Man fart.
I must step back .

My stomach is threatening to reveal this mornings eggs.

Silent gagging…

zip ding

zip ding

zip ding

This dude didn’t even flinch!
He didn’t try and hide the fact that he cut the cheese! He didn’t accidentally sneak a cheek, he just let er rip!
How much longer do I have to stand next to these line cutting stinkers??

“Would you like to sign up for our store credit card?”
They say yes!!

Huh? Sorry. Rude.

I am outtie.
No stupid gift bag is worth this kind of wait.
Life is too short to stand in this toxic cloud of poo smell created by random pushy strangers …..all in the name of a gift bag?
I’ll just use a freakin ribbon.

    • Comments

    1. Eeewww but also LOL.

      When people cut in front of me I purposely drive my stroller into the back of the heels repeatedly… But I do it in such a way that it looks like an accident. It gives me such glee! 🙂

    4. To the $ rama!!! 🙂

      I’;m sorry that you have also encountered the new version of Canadian that think it’s ok to Butt a line or Butt a Fart too!

      My university Town is also flood with new customers. I’m waiting for Karma to work it’s magic!

    5. I’ve lived in China too long, but I’d totally be cutting them off and shoving them out of the way.

      This is why I’m scared to return to North America. I’m going to be so aggressive for the natives!

    9. CRAZY GROSS haha
      by the way “Life is too short to stand in this toxic cloud of poo smell created by random pushy strangers …..all in the name of a gift bag? ” quote of the week for sure!

    10. I would have just said “excuse me but I was here first” and butted ahead of THEM, the asshats!

      Sometimes you just have to be ruder than the Rude… it’s sad but they force us 🙁