How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

When the Hubby Goes Drinking

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On the very rare event that your Hubby has been given the golden pass to flee the Suburbs and heads out for a night on the town I hope you see it as the gift that it is.

Once you get the rug rats…er children to bed..the evening stretches out before you.
It is yours.
All yours!
Is it time for a luxurious bath without said Hubby wanting to join you?
A chance to put on your terrifying hardening mask that after all these years you would still rather he not see?
Perhaps wax some of those bits and pieces in privacy?
Maybe you want to get caught up on all that girly TV?
Or watch that chic flick and bawl your eyes and Enjoy.Every.Tear.
You know that stash of chocolate you have hidden. Time to break it out because tonight you don’t have to share!
Perhaps one of the biggest benefits of giving the Hubby the golden pass for a night out with the boys. He now thinks without a shadow of a doubt that YOU are the coolest wife ever and the next time you want ANYTHING and I mean anything…it’s yours baby.
“Mmmm I have had my eye on a little something.” You whisper.
“Yours!” The Hopeful Hubby declares!
You hold the power baby:)

When the now Drunken Hubby arrives home, all sloppy and lovey. He tells you how much he adores you. How you are the most beautiful, sexiest, coolest wife in the world.
You tell him to shush and go to sleep.
The glorious snoring begins.
No matter how hard you try you can not stop a man from snoring who has had one too many. Trust me…I have tried them all. I have not yet figured out How to Out Smart a Snorer.
Eventually you stomp and grab that pillow. Head down the hall for peace and quiet.
The next morning as he suffers, head in hands, moaning as you offer to cook him some runny eggs, you can relish in the fact that you are still the coolest, most beautiful wife ever.
You can also enjoy the promises he made in the previous nights stupor!
Today shelves will be hung. Furniture will be re-arranged, and we are going to look for a new dining room table!
Ha! See. There are many hidden benefits to the nights when a Hubby goes drinking.

    • Comments

    1. Arrrrgh! Why, oh why won’t he drink anything stiffer than Coca Cola? I’m missing out on all the good stuff!

      Thanks for popping in on my little space today… it’s always so much fun to see a new IP address on the site meter! A comment makes it even better!!

    6. My favorite part is the boozey smell that emits from their pores the next morning. Thank goodness the hubs doesn’t go on benders often because our room smells like a brewery the next morning!

    10. Let me say .. I LOVE, LOVE this post, heh heh. I may just follow your advice. Even kick him in the shin to GET HIM OUT! I’ll BEG, and plead. Now that our son is 21, they can BAR hop! YESSSSSSSSS! And my bath ALONE.. The joy…*rubs hands together! You HAVE ME ON A MISSION!

      *Mission Impossible song plays

    11. Roll him over til he stops snoring – even if he ends up rolling on the floor~! Then he’ll wake up and yell at you for waking him up. Uh…. wasn’t he the one keeping you up already anyway?

    12. Ha ha ha I have seen this Hubby before. That’s why you need a virtual girls night out at Ann’s place 🙂

    13. My hubby is always allowed out to play. He is not allowed to use me as an excuse to see the boys. Please go have fun.

      I love the house to myself.

    15. Haha.. you’re so right! I totally love nights where it’s all mine, after the kids have gone to bed, of course. Me, the TV and chocolate is like, the perfect night. Maybe throw in some Doritos, too. LOVE IT! Happy weekend!