How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

It’s Time To Get Back On The Diet When . . .

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You realize you have been alternating between just two pairs of pants. These my friends are called your FAT pants.

You wake up in the morning and your very first thought is about food.

Actually, your every thought is about food.

You are sneaking chocolate when no one is looking.

Your daily water intake has been switched from the recommended 8 glasses to 1 glass of water, 4 of coffee, 1 juice and 2 glasses of wine.

Your kids ask where we are ordering dinner from tonight.

You are exhaling when you weigh yourself on those nasty scales just hoping it takes off an extra ounce or two.

You consider cutting your hair. It will definitely reflect a weight loss. (I have a lot of hair.)

You are making those grunting noises as you get up off the floor again.

You are considering going back to your old reliable scales. The ones that were wrong by 5 pounds but always made you feel so much better about you!

You are considering buying spanx.

Your exercise regime has been switched from time on the treadmill to time on the couch.

You look in the mirror and see your Mother looking back!

You and your Hubby have a discussion about what’s for dinner AND what’s for 10’ses (you know the 4th meal of the day!)

You are cussing at the dryer for shrinking all of your clothes.

Yes..these are all signs that you are on a slippery slope. Time to give yourself a kick in one of those two pairs of pants!

    • Comments

    1. LOVE this post! So, so true… I always exhale before I step on the scale, I only weight myself in the a.m., and only after my morning pee. Also, I only weigh myself naked, and even take off the elastic from around my wrist so I can weight less. Yeah, I’ve got problems! I sneak food all the time. Bad me.

    2. my fat pants are now my skinny pants! i hate it!

      also, i’m looking at my body and thinking, “oh, I guess I really do have mom’s waist/thighs/whatever. who knew?”

      thank you for stopping by Wednesday Spaghetti so I could find your blog! It’s adorable and hilarious.

    3. First of all, thanks for the comment in my current absence of blogging… I’ve got some vacation time so hoping to catch up with everyone this week!

      And my water consumption yesterday I realized this morning as I rolled over feeling more bloated than ever consisted of 3 sips out of one of my childrens cups… remaining liquid throughout the day: literally coffee and wine. That.Is.It.

      Bad.

    7. Seriously — how did you know that this is what I was thinking about today?

      love your blog. I am a mommy blogger though living in the burbs and blogging about beauty.

      Come check me out if you get a chance.

      Michelle
      Lipstickrules.blogspot.com

    9. This post is hilarious! Thanks for stopping by earlier. . .stop back by and enter my contest for a Longaberger basket that ends on 6/30/09.

      Be Blessed,

      Amy

    11. I don’t know if I’ll ever get on the diet route. Love my Ms. Vickie’s too much. I don’t mind working out extra to make up for that, though. 🙂

    12. Are you my voice in my head, when I cuss at the dyer for shrinking my clothing.. and I hear.. It’s the candy you ate..not just ONE piece but 5?! I often tell her.. STOP IT..Lemme alone. It’s the dryers fault..NOT MINE!

      I’m perfect.. LOL extra poundage and all..LOL

    14. This list is my life! I have been saying for months I need to do something about this. Admiting you have a problem is the first step. Still wondering when the second step is going to kick in!